You preyed on my innocence,
assuming my naïvety as advances,
telling me to think of you as a
'second father' and that I was 'wanting it'.
Would a father do this to their child?
Was I 'wanting it' when you
put your fingers inside me?
Or said that I 'tasted good'
once you were through?
Did you know what you were doing?
I will admit that I did not help matters
by answering your perverted questions,
but that does not excuse your behavior
or how you acted after it was over.
I am sorry for insinuating I 'wanted it'.
Was it your intention to make me this way:
to have me grow up feeling low about my self,
to become so obsessed with ***,
to want to cheat on those I am with?
If it was, I applaud you for achieving your goal.
Because of you:
I became someone obsessed with ***,
boys, and the way I looked.
I became someone I hated.
You kept me in my shell.
Because of you,
I let people in too easily,
I gave my heart away,
and I trusted what they said.
You violated me at my most vulnerable.
I reveled in the attention I got
and figured that, because of you,
I should not worry about my self-worth.
That this was how normal relationships were like.
You left me broken and confused.
I am finally starting to break free of your bond.
To love me for who I am becoming.
I am no longer fearful of you,
though I am fearful of people like you.
Those that prey on the vulnerable.
I will never forget you,
but that does not mean I have to forgive you.
You do not deserve forgiveness.
To know who I am today is enough for me.
I hope you feel guilty for your actions.
Now I am flying free,
fear of the past no longer an option.
Like a bird, I break from my shell,
knowing that you will never hold that bond over me again.
I am free of you at last.