I'm different from the advertisements
I'm different from being able to check the diffident
I'm differently formed, coffered the affidavit
The defendant left me in a spell of the time that I had lost
Imbibing my guilt in the adequate alacrity, inevitable wasn't it
The loss of my sensible sagaciousness and I took it to curtsy for my childish grin
Smirks and lenience were standing upon at gaze, in the confused crowd
Only you, you were standing in the surface flowing with troughs of tridents of storms
Making choices beyond your gayness, and pristine condition was your choice of gentleness

My thoughts are wiped away
Like crushed bugs by windshield wipers
That never had a chance at a full life
Wiper fluid cleansing the surface
Only to find itself ***** again

There’s a war going on inside of me
My heart and my head on two sides of the same coin
Neither willing to compromise
Sick of selling myself lies
That aren’t even believable anymore

I’m choking on pain
I’ve been ingrained to think that misery
Has a permanent home with me
As though it has hung up its clothes in my closet
Left a toothbrush on the bathroom sink
And a ***** glass on the countertop
I can’t stop thinking that she is my forever companion

They say that misery loves company
But I’m finding that solitude yields warmth
A cocoon of loneliness where I’m buried so deep
That no one else can see it
I just want someone else to see it

Too much pride to ask for help
Too independent to take it
I’m breaking
Hell, maybe I’m already broken
A mirror in sharp pieces
My reflection staring back blankly
As I try to glue myself back together

There’s a war going on inside of me
Choosing the better of two evils is impossible
This misery almost comical
As I try to claw it from my skin
Leaving only scars to remain
Lipstick stains on the glass in the kitchen
Hanging up a shirt to rid the wrinkles
My sweet misery’s toothbrush is still wet
With tears from last night’s battle with death
All reminders that my shadow is always there

The crushed bugs on my windshield a reminder
That death is inevitable
And life only measurable
By the number of breaths that we take
And not how many times the windshield wipers
Try to erase my journey

Being in love with someone you can't have,
And not just moving on,
Thats crazy! There is no other word for that.

     There is a word for that-
IT'S LOVE!
If you're looking for the word,
That means caring about someone,
Beyond all rationality
And wanting them to have everything they want,
No matter how much it destroys you-
It's love!
And when you love someone,
You just.. you.. you don't stop-
EVER!
Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy,
Even then-
Especially then!!
You just.. you don't give up!
Because if I could give up,
If I could take the whole worlds advice
And move on and find someone else,
That wouldn't be love..
That would be some other disposable thing, that is not worth fighting for,
But that is not what this is.

Nothing scares me more,
Than loving someone you can't have.

I owe myself an apology-
For forgetting about myself
And instead chasing someone,
Who hurt me even more.

Pretty things remind me of you.

The night we met,
A dream come true,
Beats flew faster,
Stars seemed brighter.
With sweet nothing to lose,
You got it all.
And then she woke up,
In the middle of the night,
She got on her knees
And looked up at the stars.
With tears running down her cheeks,
She prayed for the God,
To turn her heart into a stone,
And never feel love, nor trust no more.

Why don't you sing to me?
Something for the night,
Or the void after -
A soundtrack to my life
A rhythm to which I'll smile astray
Before midnight, before tomorrow, before we go-
A waltz for the night.

And I'll write for you-
Every page a tear
You're lovely, my dear.
Only a fool, one such like me-
Could hurt even after they recover
For not only have I loved you-
I've died with you.

What's left of me is a kin for the kind
Static yet exemplary
I'd blink as to his wrinkled smile
Like a shutter that captures

The next in my memoir, those that make way
I'll feel, I'll love, I'll laugh
For it takes only one, not all
To hold me when the night befalls


Before midnight, before tomorrow, before we go-
Why don't you sing to me?