The tips of her lashes
were silver like rainfall,
and her hair was the sea at night,
her flesh was the clouds
obscuring the warmth of the sun,
and her teeth were the glinting knives.

No obsidian dark
could outshine her eyes,
and her words were a painful storm.
The more she breathed,
a new star awoke,
and in the darkness, I grew forlorn.

I wonder every now and then,
Will I see those times again?
Will I thrive or will I fall,
Will I get to try at all?
I wonder every now and then?

I picture deeply with a smile,
A world we're given you and I.
All those ****-ups to correct,
All those people with regrets.
I picture deeply with a sigh.

I dream dreams of sliken tears,
In them you will oft appear,
Only one that still makes sense,
That brings me closer to repent.
I dream dreams of frozen tears.

I wonder every now and then.
Was it all a fairyland?
Did all people, the whole world
Lie and made up a universe,
Where I was born and where I loved
With or without god above,
Where I fell and where I cried,
And was often crucified?
I wonder every now and then.

Have I succeeded?
As I sit in the kitchen,
Surrounded by sensation and temptation,
Bread and milk and cheese and
Everything I’ve tried to leave
Behind and I don’t eat,
Sipping on the mug of tea in front of me,
Ignoring pangs of hunger, telling me
I can’t go on much longer...
Have I succeeded?

They print,
We earn.

so that’s why you settle with friends who treat you like crap. that’s why you chase after heartbreaks in the form of long hair and lop-sided smiles. that’s why you’re on your seventh cigarette. that’s why you don’t want your scars erased, why you stay in a place where nobody asks if you’re okay and call it home, why you write wretched poems about bleeding wrists and tripping on *** bottles from last night.

darling, you hold onto pain. you hold onto pain, because you no longer know what it feels like living without it.

I know I have let you all down.
My heart stings at the sound of my voice.
I’ll give the people what they want.
My heart aches at the feeling of my warmth.

I can feel your words cut through my back.
Silently whispered between the walls.
I can feel your lips brush against my neck.
Sensations felt long ago.

I sense your eyes boring into me
It was there for a long time.
What do you say when I’m not there?
It was said for a long time.

I’ve been sad for a long time.
I’ve felt bad for a long time.
I’ve thought about this for a long time.


I mean it this time.