Folded ripped and unfolded
You see the symmetry and its beautiful
But when you take a step closer you see the emptiness in the tears.
You see the valleys left behind in each crease of every fold
The rugged edges of the rip
Fingerprints left from a sweaty hold
Yes, upon closer inspection I am but the sum of my parts
And often all my parts appear to be disasters
And often they are
I trot around like a work of art
But few see what it took to get that way
How I was folded ripped and unfolded
Few can't see past what it took
They see the holes left in me but not the pretty shapes
And some see the shapes and I wish they'd acknowledge the holes
Still even fewer can comprehend the resulting work
And frankly, Sometimes I'm not sure I do
But I manage
A crippled work of art made beautiful by how neatly she was torn apart
I struggle to hold my new form in the wind and amongst viewers
Try to look like something relatable
And not like life spent too long on me
Worked till it got weary and persisted when really it should have rested its eyes
I try
To uphold my form as though every overworked corner and tear isn't centimeters away from destruction
As though the slightest snag or tug won't leave me hanging
Noticeably Deformed and mishapen
But I stretch and I retract with grace
Perhaps this is how I dance now
my life a pas de deux of trying to hold it all together
Just folded, ripped, and unfolded.

I used to be a hot mess,
now I’m just a beautiful disaster.

Do not hurt me so much, and then be nice to me.
Keep your words, don’t bother about me.
Don’t listen to me. Don’t ask me anything.
My heart is in ruins.
My mind is in a mess.
Just keep on walking, like how you’ve always been doing.
Don’t even, for a second, try to show concern towards me again.
I don’t need it anymore;
'Cause I didn’t get any when I expected it the most.
And if you think you can’t handle all these,
Back off.
Stay away from me.

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I see the future
I see the future and what it holds

It’s not pretty - it’s a deep dark hole

Slowly, I slip in to the recess of the cavity.

Pulling you with me, a helpless casualty.

I will start all over and end repeatedly.

You’ll watch me disappear even though you’re falling with me.

Your love - not safe, as my mind escapes.

Your noose, tightening as my memory fades.

All our days forgotten, our love erased.

While you’re still holding out for hope, I further decay.