I am broken, I am worn
Broken from another’s scorn.

Rebuilt with random other parts,
Held together with one heart.

I run on lost time
Air tastes divine
Treating the world
like it’s some ****** up shrine,
Leaving my stuffing all over the floor
Once strangers soon strangers cause they’re wanting more.

Reminding you how it could always be worse
How all bad things will run their course

But a marathon leaves you panting heaving
broken,
breathless.
Stuffed eyes, sewed shut mouth.

I am broken, I will be reborn
Mending from a mother’s scorn
Rebuilt with once strangers other parts
Held together by their hearts.

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where you just feel sane?
No reason to why
The clouds just withhold all their rain
And you're sailing on your way...

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where you want to punch everyone you meet in the face
To sort of justify your head state, and put your feet back in place?

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where everything feels strange?
Like nothing is original;
And passing thoughts cant be tamed?

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where you.....where you just don't really know how you feel?
Those days seem to be the ones when everyone asks if you're okay
And you are
But the more that you're asked;
The more it grates against the grain, driving you insane...

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where you plan everything out
Write it all down
Feel confident you'll act it all out
But instead you find yourself glued to the couch?
Lounging about...
In your pants
Eating cheesy Doritos for no apparent reason?

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where the suns rays penetrate and renovate
Invigorate your being
Leaving you feeling as though you can touch the highest of ceilings?

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where everything doesn't go your way...
As though someone's just taken the biggest of ***** on your parade?

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where everything thing happens all at once
One minute your napping
The next your arms are flapping
Getting stressed and restless
Relentless flitting decisions causing sticky dispositions
Narrowing tunnel vision
Hearing that's constantly shifting
Contracting and relaxing
Entangling webs and...

Have you ever had one of those days...

Where you just wanted to write about it?

I wish I was stronger
That my mind would leave me alone
I keep trying
Pushing through all of these walls I've built
I keep trying
To focus on the little things to get me through each day
But each little thing is getting harder than it ever use to be
Why can't I just stop
Stop worrying about how I'm meant to do this
How I'm going to get through this
Stop avoiding life and carry on get over it and move on
I wish I didn't feel so strongly
But the emotions I carry weigh me down so intensely
I don't want this to be who I am
Yet it's how I see myself
I've got no dreams or aspirations
And I find that really weird
Why don't I want more out of life
Why can't I see a better future for myself
I just continue to get stuck in my head and weigh myself down
I'm a burden to myself
And I resent it more than I should
I wish I could see the light the silver lining behind it

She
presses her lips on the back of my neck,
Her
coldness blowing over my skin,
with her hands decorative and curling,
forever
wearing
me
thin.

I pluck the weeds out of my head every season,
All the bad, the negative thoughts, the unhealthy habits,
so the flowers have room to grow.
Until the next season,
when the weeds regrow and I must pluck them again.
I grab the base, pulling up the roots,
Without roots, they won’t grow back.
They do.

Entrenched in this loneliness
For it is not solitude
Perhaps when I am alone
I am in bad company

Some days I don’t want to be the voice of progress,
The cry into the shadows that demands we shine a light.
Some days I don’t want to be strong and silent,
Keeping my hurt hidden behind “Let’s not think of this.”
Today I don’t want to know where the bruises used to be
Or remember the moment I thought I’d climbed into bed with a murderer,
His arm locked around my neck.
Today I don’t want to be a survivor.
I just want to be okay.

If I have to be psychotic,
Let it bring no harm to anyone..
fill my mind with hues of colors;
not the pressure of passing time.
If I'm convinced of any lies,
let it be "this world is just fine"
I'll bid farewell to sanity and
let the colors fill my mind..