A strange sensation crawls beneath my skin, it's not something I've known before.
A claustrophobia that equates to a 1 by 1 concrete box. No windows.
A paranoia as vicious as a horror-movie induced glance around a familiar room.

Fire-breathing dragons soar through my nights, setting ablaze our days.
Our perfect, storybook romance, too perfect.

Flesh wounds that never healed.
Septic bandages tight around my ears.

Imprisoning his poison dripping words inside my head, like the parasitic maggot he was, they bore deeper into my sanity.

His monsters in my head won't let you in. Their screams drown out the reality of your safety.

How I feel is on the tip of my tongue, cowering behind heaving ribs.
Vulnerable.

Nobody falls for you,
you only fall for yourself
Your head stuck on a shelf
Nothing but your ego left to sell

But you couldnt let it go
This hell is already here and melded
Manipulation and consideration-
All a grey shield

Its already been welded.
No space for
Me.

Its frustrating to me
That a man can hold so much power
And make me feel so small
And yet... loved.

The delicate play
Of manipulation
Held me in an intricate web
Of control.

I don't miss
Waiting in his web of lies
And manipulation.
Wondering if I was good enough,
Tasty enough
For his delicate and dominating sensibilities.
If I didn't fit his fancy
He'd find another
To prey upon.
Keeping me at the center
Of his web
Waiting,
Claiming,
I was his admired,
Beloved.
I was adored
And should be elated.

I saw the freedom
Of this resilient spider-
All of his eyes looking thirsty.

Here I am-
the main delight,
Waiting in his nest.

Funny how he went out searching for more
When I've been here,
Waiting for him to feast.

I hope you know it's your fault.
I know you don't give a ****
because when I fell you pushed me down
and then proceeded to stand.

As I lose my way
in an endless ocean
made of flowing knowledge,
my head feels like an anchor,
towing down my heart
below the waves of facts,
to the depths of information
as I drown I do attract
insatiable predators,
all the while,
above the surface
all is doomed to fall
beneath the rising tide,
slowly crawling up
to eat the howling sky

Painlessly, you squeeze my drying heart
To expunge words you put in me
I'm almost dry
This time
When I'm
A ******* desert I'll
Soak, **** syllables inside
If once more I pin your fragile arm to wall
This time
We'll know manipulation
is in my nature