A Baltic atoll nigh
I am but a giant
of enlightenment
as I've been both years
here yet develop
strep in tears despair
days that might
stay when I came to
love our being still
mystery now season
in newly gotten wiles
only there to impress
a red rover machine
and target afresh
dreamscape by canal.

My art in your surrender is to take your knees.
You can’t stand being with me after all.
Deception dances on the edges of my hate filled smile.
Eyes like snakes, they charm you,
as their shadows cast haunting images on the walls.
My slices are delivered with a dull knife,
they never do completely heal.

I remember when your words were a caress
But now that's gone and you're all business

It's not just warm touch I miss but how you were so present even when virtual
Now you're short circuiting the connection that was physical and emotional,  allowing only intellectual or spiritual.

Affection requires all those elements.....
But you seem to have no patience for sentiment

You say I'm just nostalgic for the romance,
And these are the realities of a relationship at Long Distance.

So I wonder if I've committed to a love that won't last....
Because I do want the romance and won't settle for something half assed.

Where's the open hearted warrior who arose to love's divine quest?
Remember when you promised to treat me like I'm precious?

How quickly you forgot that vow
Or maybe you don't remember how

Because for months despite the miles we were so close
And I did feel cherished....but where is that man my heart chose?

The distance between us,
Isn't just physical,
You're intelligent but infantile,

Big ego so fragile,
When you don't get your way,
You ignore me for at least a day,

Mood swings so quick,
This emotional coaster makes me sick.
I'm beginning to think,
The age difference will make us sink,

Down into a hateful dark abyss.
Last night you didn't say you love me or give a kiss.
There are miles between us,

When it comes to conflict resolution and maturity,
You're drowning aggression and insecurity.
You say you're fragile, well so am I.
But I don't purposefully try to make you cry.

The tactics you use,
Are borderline verbal abuse.
An ocean of distrust,
Every time I'm filled with more disgust.

Becoming numb to the rising tide,
My true feelings I will no longer hide.
You think you're some kind of god,
But you forget I'm an atheist.
I don't believe that gods exist.

You put my patience to the test.
I'm tired of these petty arguments; give it a rest.
So to your bitter maelstrom,
I will strongly resist.

This tidal wave of anger, angst, and absurdity,
Carries me further out to sea,
I want you sailing far away from me.

CYBER PIG

-and there he was again
Breathing FIRE over someone..
(( PIG began to tell the story of his night: the chance he gave her, how she made him wait, only to reject him ))
..Wanting me to cool him and soothe his hurt.
..she made you wait? Oh.
..should laugh out loud (can't)
   I knew all about waiting.  
~ My thoughts :  
   * I recalled waiting hundreds of times for you.. (One time sharply in my mind -waiting for days for you, when you made me believe that you were taking your own life. Your blame heavy upon me, your death. Those days were a living hell. I could not help; could not find you..) *

I had plentiful icebergs in my heart to accommodate
              CYBER PIG
For, he had left me cold cold

Have you ever had someone tell you they love you

And they convince you that they mean it, that you're going to be with them forever

And then starts the arguments, the shifting blame, the trust being broken, the lies and deceit

And all the abuse and manipulation is too hard to keep up with, you start to feel like you're stuck in a maze and doing everything wrong and making all the wrong turns

And your heart watches you from above, screaming directions that you can't (or don't because you thought this was love) hear