The night was moist
the sea-winds blew salt
to the trembling lips
which formed half words
and quiet whispers.
The air tasted of memory
and long lost souls.
"What keeps you alive?"
the mad girl asked the sea.
"Or are you dead and still moving?
My father killed a snake.
and it's body moved like waves,
though he held its head in his hand.
It twitched. It twitched," she muttered.
Her laugh broke across the water,
the gulls shuddered, clouds gathering,
and the waves resounded to the hidden stars.
She screamed to the wind as it snagged her hair,
it screamed back
over the breakers.
She laughed
and laughed
and laughed
again.

Slowly you're moving away.
I try to understand the new you .
Your life is so big that I'm afraid I might not fit in
You say you haven't change
That's a lie
Why you rather hang out with other guys . I guess I'm not enough

Saying your name leaves a metallic taste in my mouth and I wonder if it's from biting my tongue to shut myself up or from biting my lip, thinking of you at 1:48 in the morning.

As I stare into the mirror I begin to ignore everything I hear. I start to wonder what the world would be like if I wasn't here. There are some days I just wanna disappear.

I'd have no pain and no more worries. No need for a selfish man. I'm pretty content with just my hand. No complications just a different feeling.

I'm tired of crying. Im tired of cutting. I'm tired of a man I thought I loved. I'd rather just chop his **** off.

I'm angry and ******. There's no one to turn to. My boyfriend lays next to me thinking I'm at rest. I feel the movement of his hand that can't stop touching his ****.

All he wants is for me to fall asleep so he can ******* to his stupid ******* and that's just something I can not Handle. Just one more time and ill ******* leave.

I'm hurting inside. Please just **** me or bury me alive. My cuts become more deeper my heart becomes weaker. I just want this all to stop. Please just end this reality. Pain is just much too deep.

Its not my day today
The girl i liked did not say hey
Got paint on my shoes and fingers
Are there dues i have yet to pay
Bad luck has its stingers
But now i am all alone
Hoping im prone to luck
Oh well it ***** to ****

Five. Cinco.

Half of the ten and a fifth of the twenty five. Mathematics are a funny subject, don't you think? Some man just made up letters to correlate with numbers to transcend to concepts that in all reality could mean nothing and the square root of a orangutan could actually be yellow.

I contemplate on that a lot, being the Grace that I am, wondering if what's real is real, if words are just words, or all they the pygmy hippopotamuses flying in my dreams. Anything is possible. Dreams could be reality, and reality could be a dream. Or maybe there is no such thing as realness, and everything is just madness.

I learned a lot from my friend the Mad Hatter, how to love, how to be disappointed, how to fall into a pit of despair and how to wear a hat like a ****** deviant and love it.

But the most important thing I learned is that sanity is very subjective, because what may seem totally sane to me, completely within the norm, may seem like complex incongruity to someone else. Maybe we're all mad. Maybe no one's mad. Maybe its just you, maybe its not you.

Special. That's another word that always got me, but I prefer to think in the realms that everyone is different. The world is in different shades and hues, none are ever quite the same, so why should people be that way?

But maybe yet again I'm only speaking in riddles and soliloquies and monologues and standing over all my conquests I am screaming my thoughts while they utter not a word, fearful of manic me.

I'd be afraid of manic me. She is quite the finger-twitching tyrant.

Words are words but are they real? Are they what you mean or are they just lies, lies, words that you scream until she dies, dies, and the world is at peace.

Oh, that's not right.

I once wrote a short poem similar to that I could recite by heart, but as my heart has changed the words become jumbled. Death creeps its way into lies, and heavy juxtaposition ***** with my meanings. Eating my words, until I am not a girl anymore, I am a leaf, or a bat, stuck in Wonderland until the end of my days.

Funny how Alice the savior became Alice the bat.

Wait, I'm not Alice, I'm Grace.

Oh, I do not know who I am anymore. And that is the tragic beauty of Wonderland. You just never know what, or who, tomorrow may bring.

I did always tend to shy
to the side of life hidden by shadows
guided by mossy, abandoned walls
stacking bricks of one untold story after another to guide this life I lead
and all my favorite people come here
the mad and insane, the villains and vixens
smoking jokes with the jokester
like you want to play a little game
adrenaline ****** riding through the twists and turn of your brain
past the sleeze and the tease that you tucked between your sheets
all the times you denied lust because love looks better dressed
for the rest of the guests in your life
down and around the time you tried to lie just to please
some made up story that made life sound a little easy
say cheese
on roller coasters they always did take ******* pictures
and you chose the perfect spot between what you want us to see
and what you've fooled us all into thinking that you've chosen to be

but what's printed in a picture
is but smoke of what's real
real smiles feelings laughter drift away
when our lips make way to fake a buffet of happiness
its just a rush of blood to your head
to project the ideal scene from your pupils
melt into this pixelated reality like hey it can be real
you just have to believe me
that all this scenery wasn't result of sketching my cutest dreams
but in my head, the cute is starting to get dim
as its drifting further away from this mischievous grin
the cheshire cat was always my best friend, magic
like sleight of hand in a grin, fading in and out and in
this reality can be intriguing, disbelieving, a never ending day dream
like every substance to touch my tongue dancing in my words
to paint the streets and trails under my feet
its the clearest sense of clarity, and indefinite reality of everything that your senses think is a tease
like risk stained lips
sentences laced in ******* of persuasion
bones that guide your latest fantasy to take to dancing
like your entire world lost to the madness of *******
RGB slinging and sleighing everything ticking around this clock
its a melting masterpiece, sinking into the core
but theres more, beating down the door, vibrating the floor
sending the ground to clouds to float on
I bet you never saw that the clouds were but the smoke of every worry we've let go
I always wrote tales laced in gold when it was an overcast flow
when the grass blurs to floating snow, its an oscar winning show
dancing on your chest, coughing out all of the mess
**** it, forget the rest

im always preaching of the same thing
because society has changed our reality to gasping screams
stretching the grasp of sanity to something that seems pleasing
but minds have lost their soul when ghouls take to slashing
the hopes and dreams from the pleas
leaving them to dress the headlines in other countries
like we have to do something if we tell all the people
in new york times san francisco,
we'll leave our impact in a chronicle to find home on a dusty shelf
with every other mistake that betrayed our trust
you see, i've read the books of our history and nothing is really a mystery
its the biggest scheme in the 21st century, hiding our undying hypocrisy
and I went mad in a rhyme because I frequently test time
because I couldn't find sublime in the latest headlines but with each passing day, my reservoir is failing to drought as all these thoughts are racing out

The poison filled your mind
While sadness filled my heart.
The plant ruined your mind
While you ruined our chances.
The drugs corrupted your soul
While you broke my heart.