your love in my life shines like rubies,
feeling so sweet like candies,
made me sing soft melodies.

distance may keep us physically apart
but all my fond feelings for you won't depart
because i know i'm always held close to your heart.

since you came, each day has been beautiful;
even mundane days are delightful
because in every second, you make me joyful.

a love like yours is a rare gem
even if we're miles apart, it's not a problem
we'll always be the perfect tandem.

There's this empty void
when I look to you

It's all those things I don't know
about you

All the times you got your heart broken
and the ones you spinned that too.

I remember your laughter
when it was real and it was not
and your eyes after disaster
when they would be downcast
and filled with plaster.

So hard to reach you at times,
it made it all the worse
when all I wanted was for you to look
and see me whole.

There's not enough words
to explain what we would receive
if I could be honest with you
and you with me.

Either way,
I wish you only the best
while I have you
in my dreams.

You are my shooting star:
a brilliant light, impossibly far.
A brief spark of hope in the black,
before the universe took it all back.
.
With every word, with every glance,
you made me believe it wasn't chance
that brought you to me against all odds,
and each day I thanked the gods.
.
The warmth flickering in your eyes
like rays of sunset as the day dies,
made me believe once more in fate,
but if it's real, we were too late.
.
Like spring frost on rosebuds pale,
life went ahead and stabbed a nail
into all that we could have been,
oh my angel on the head of a pin.
.
Ground to a halt at the very gate,
with nothing that my hunger could sate;
why'd I think that for once I'd win?
Hope, **** hope, should be a sin.
.
And it hurts all the more,
knowing that we want the same,
but destiny has shut the door,
nor you nor me are to blame.
.
How can it be in present day,
when wonders everywhere abound,
that they could take you away,
when you've only just been found?
.
I pray and pray, in grim despair,
feel my soul for you ache,
God, bring him back, it isn't fair,
Please don't give only to take.
.
.

please, look at me.
look at me in every way that love feels,
then peer into me as if you are meeting
a candle light to blow its heat.
     i promise i won't speak unless you need me to,
so look at me in every possible way
if it helps you see me better.

deep in your gaze,
mesh me in every memory that makes you cry
     for i am a home for dark things too.
your every spill cannot flood
the vast space of my nothingness.
     i have all the room in the world
     to take in every version of you.

as i walk with nothing but the feeling of my heart
grasped achingly by my ribcages,
i grieve for my future self;
this is a habit i cannot break.
like a sacred ritual
i commence a solemn ceremony
to mourn for the unknown half and
to mourn for myself, a loveless poet.
     will i spare someone all the love
     that i tend in my backyard?
     the garden of all my poems,
     the garden of all my words.
but, what kind of poet am i
if all the love i write is mused by utter loneliness,
soiled underneath the pretty field?
resting in peace in a worm casted ground.
oh, i cannot wait to see
how my garden will bloom
once you enter it.
how your presence will soften the soil
and i will welcome you fondly as you earthen close.
     but please know that rain
     did not water every thing here,
     this love grew because my heart has yearned
     a lifetime to be understood.to be known.
     you were once a figment of all my hurt,
     a muse shaped like a blur that i begged to seek me.
i guess our hearts naturally just ache to be loved
that we yearn for beautiful things
right after killing them with our very own hands.
still, i remain as gentle as i am now
because i mourned,
    and mourned,
      and mourned...
       for someone like you.
a flicker that was absent for god knows
how many lightyears away we were to each other,
that we couldn't hold hands no matter how
interlocked our hearts were at recognizing everything we feel.
so forgive me if i mourn for you by and by
—your beauty is closest to the moon after all,
tell me, how can i not long for you forever?

i crave for loneliness to brush my hair,
mother me tenderly to sleep
as you did when i had carvings
on my left wrist at twelve years old
—a braille i fondled with every day,
                   i. don't want. to be. here.

somehow, my nightly hiccups
never drove me to my end.
i am still gentle because
you follow me wherever i go;
visiting me at the right moments
especially when i am accompanied
by my own ***** and the cold bathroom floor—
          and then you stay quiet the whole hour
          to give me some time to grieve.

i wear you like a protective charm now,
for you are the only love i've ever known.

in your absence
i immersed myself in sadness,
for there was nothing left to love
in the remaining pieces of you
that was too blurry for me
to comprehend in the first place.
    was it really you?
because i felt too many heartaches
trying to filter your name in my palms
—you made me figure out
so many things on my own
as if this kind of mystery
will compel me to draw closer to you.

but i, too, am human
i grow weary of repetitive things
that remain obscure,
just like how your name
sounded sweet every time—
     only for it to mean nothing to me.

like ***** laundry, my sadness
pile on top of one another,
and now i am grieving
because your name sounds like a metal
being dragged on the ground
—a heaviness that keeps
tugging my heart wide open.

there is no more room for you here,
my love for you has finally died.

i think i exist only to love
but never experience,
a pretentious bag of bones like me
will only stir your feelings
     —you will wallow in it for some time
     and then you will forget about me
like a cup of coffee that has gone cold.

but if i must admit,
it's because i do stunt my own growth:
in life, in love, but strangely enough,
                                           not in death.
an odd number of reasons
aid my tendencies;
they get glued together to form
a paper-maché of well-composed farewells
—a craft i have mastered in my years of longing.

i think i exist only to love,
but never experience—
yet here i am, still longing
until i get a hand to hold.

Sa ilalim nitong mga ngiti at tawa,
ay isang pusong nangungulila
na puno ng mga hikbi at dalita.

Kailan kaya kita muling makita?
Kailan muli masilayan matamis **** tawa?
Kailan ulit kita mayakap aking sinta?