She ambled along the pavement,
Searching for an answer,
Desperately looking for a reason to stay.

Tears pooled in her eyes ,
But she didn’t cry.…She never does.
“It makes you weak,” she stammered.
Vulnerable.

She was said to be a boy,
Never liking dresses.
She wanted to go places,
Unlike the rest who wanted a barbie doll as a toy.

She ambled, walked, then ran.
But she never found it.

Well, there goes another one.
Burried deep within the sand.

I search for you in everything I see
everything I have
making you seem almost tangible
present
and when all I find are pieces of hair and the shirt you left in my closet
I'll collapse in a heap on the floor
holding your shirt to my chest
as I sing the words you sang to me that Sunday night
on the ridge
telling me you couldn't love me anymore than you did in that moment

and you repeated those words
everyday
until one day you stopped saying it
stopped murmuring I love you in my ear
stopped speaking to me altogether
kicking me to the curb like I was the garbage on Thursday's
shutting the door in my face as I cry out to you
until the voice leaves my throat and I'm
torn

you are in every single fiber of me
like the blood running in my veins I feel you pressing against me
the warmth of you
invading my body and taking homage
in every single cell
until I become you
absorbing the way you laugh and the way you sound at 5 in the morning

I search for you in all the stars of the sky
finding your face in the constellations
hearing your voice in the crickets chirping wildly
as if singing a forbidden song they can't help but repeat constantly
my mumbled words to you get lost in the chirping
not knowing if somewhere
somehow
you can hear me

I hope you do

I wish You'd love me.
Your attention I desire.
The person you are I admire.
I cannot lose myself
For You.

You're my piece of art.
I am dying inside,
Containing my joyful feeling
Of Your perfection,
You ask me,
'Why are you looking at me like this?'

Descriptive words
they make us feel something inside.
Words like "heart pounding"
Can create a feeling of love or fear.
The use of temperature and color can do just the same.
Saying "the warm Sun colored leaves fell onto the sun baked ground"
Will never have the same feeling as "the dull colorless leaves fell onto the cold forgotten ground".

We see so much in words
Things that aren't even there.
Our minds try to fill in blanks with emotions we thing we should feel when we see them.
Our minds create pictures from words.
But the pictures can never be explained with words.

We hang on to words
We do it too much!
we hang on for so long
We forget what they originally ment.
We forget the emotional attachment we had with it.
Whether it's from a lover or friend or enemy.
We cling to words for the wrong reasons!

We can attach to words for power or confidence
We do it for Pease and war
We do it just for hope that someone will feel the same
about one word.
Any word.

If you are trying to change a; person, relationship,  or environment, and it doesn't change - leave before it changes you. Things are what they are; you have no control of that. You are what you will; you have full control of that.

why listen to silence when there is music
that's something i said
but i don't believe it

in silence there is reverence
a kind of quiet that is incomparable

in silence you can find peace
you can find the answers you are searching for

though it may be hard at first
let yourself be consumed by it

because once you are in the silence
you will be able to hear the noise