I want to see you smile
No matter what that takes
Understand if we can't fix our love
I've made too many mistakes

I desperately wish to go backwards in time
Do things the right way instead
In the moment we never can be sure
The future waiting ahead

I would not hurt you on purpose
No intention to cause you pain
If able to warn my younger self I would
Heart would never wear that stain

When we started I was immature
Had a lot of growing up to do
Nobody had meant as much
None could ever matter like you

I do not understand how I got so lucky
Fell into my lap
Found everything I was looking for
Without any compass or map

How we stumbled upon such treasure
Most spend whole lives without
We beat the odds and circumstances
What others only dream about

These days sense feelings slipping
Through fingers bit by bit
Try to catch the pieces as they fall
Scramble as ground they hit

Hands cannot hold the weight we carry
Full of old resentment
Wonder if we were brave and let go
Our lives would one day be content

Attached at hips from the get-go
In sync
It didn't seem real
Disbelief that an angel like you
Shared the same attraction I feel

In love
Free of worry
The first time in my life
Made me want to be a better person
You'd be proud to call your wife

Then lost sight of our initial goals
Touch with reality
First steps toward the end were taken
Sets of eyes too blind to see

It began to disintegrate
We were weak and unable to change
The happy ending envisioned
Moved out of range

Now it is a constant struggle
Getting over past distress
Clings to every passing moment
Pre-existing stress

And I am doing my best to help
Problems keep stacking up
Efforts no longer impress you
Did they stop being enough?

My attempts to you disappointing
Rekindle the spark we once had
Demeanor remains indifferent
Whether I am angry
Happy
Or sad

Let go I'm afraid I must
If I even can
Without you have no purpose
Safety net or back-up plan

Cause it is obvious you are all I want
After all these years
A reason I'm still holding on tight
You are worth unanswered questions and tears

We are on two different pages it seems
I'm the last to know
It's my turn to bathe in rejection
To watch you go

That misery has circled back around
Drowning relentless regret
Torturing mind nightly
I'd still never choose to forget

Though things are different now
Moments shared will stay the same
Heart is yours to own forever
Regardless who owns your last name

Perhaps our roads will cross
Present ******* is left behind
Separate definitions of success
Magically realign

Cause I am sick of waiting for nothing
Been awhile since you showed you care
To get used to your neglect is tough
Be grateful just having you there

You consume every thought
Obsessing words you say
Coded meanings
In vague clues thrown my way

Mind when I am stuck stabbing my skin
You've been there before
Swear I'd throw all my points in the trash
You'd not talk to other girls anymore

Alone
I don't know what to do
Become the only one you need
It's too late for that
Your soul is ready to be freed

I miss you when you're home
Your focus is miles away
Not flirting with some pretty girl
Business gets in the way

But have to accept what little you give
No matter how it kills me inside
Refuse to compromise or cooperate
Truth you're determined to stubbornly hide

To say goodbye completely destroys me
Bring to life my greatest fear
What's the point of holding us down?
I'm not even wanted here

Everything looks lost in the sea
As if the sun never shone
As if the trees never spoke
Dark blue hands, pointing at me

All water is lucid like my dreams
Spinning with no centre
Speeding and it enters
Dying at the surface of the sea

Just a voice and a vibration
Keeping me grounded
Saving men surrounded
All come together, to get lost in the sea

I am not the monster inside my head, i light the path for the many whom are dead, a gatekeeper unto what must be said. I walk the earth and live for lost souls.

There the moon gliding its light to guide her slipping away — and the shadows in the tree stalked her soulless grumbling footsteps.

Cricket's music calmed her heart. The immense outcry of the branches woke the parallel of the Dead Tree amid the black forest. Even the wilderness turned cold when she steps afoot. Her sight gone and her heart is pretentious to the music of the lonely shadows. “Come here, dear, for you must set yourself free.”

It was from the parallel — the ones whom the living bodies buried and forgotten. The sandcastle was falling away. The shadows almost struck her red knitted dress and begging her to come. But she was finding her way — a princess lost in the deep. To fall away, to be shot by a bullet straight into her heart. To be gone, and to sing her last breath.

She murmurs to the shadows in the tree, even when she could not make out her way, she steps, and steps. Until she fell into the deep hole and woke up, she was in a coffin. The loud cries of the people surrounding her — while she was being buried alive. She sang her last breath, then, the shadows beneath her held her body.

Until they were in the sandcastle. The ones that fall away in endless sorrow and death. Maybe then, she belongs as a soulless spirit to never be content in the living dead.

There the moon gliding its light to guide her slipping away — and the shadows in the tree stalked her soulless grumbling footsteps.

○               °  
°           °       ○
°      ○
○           °
I      d   o   n  '  t
k     n       o     w
    h  o  w    l o n g    
I    h  a   v   e  .
F o r   a l l   I
k  n  o  w
I ' l l
m
a
k
e
every
second of it count.

We were a photograph.
Trapped in a beautiful memory,
blinded by the flash
that imprisoned us within the moment.