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James Khan Jan 6
I once was a bit of a demon,
Ate peaches with plenty of cream on,
Whilst stuck in the Navy
Each night, a new lady
Would earn me the rank 'able *****'.
James Khan Jan 4
Pedestrian rhyme is the curse of the poet,
The irony being that most of you know it
So spice up your vision
Leave cliché in prison
And write like a person determined to show it.
Basically, bookmark a good thesaurus and start using it. Bingo. Everyone's a winner. Hang on a minute, ain't that a ******* cliché...?
James Khan Jan 3
In terms of the old *******
I much prefer diving to fingers,
The benefit being
You stop yourself seeing
The frightening face of the mingers.
I've scolded men enough in my rhymes. It's only fair in equality practice to bash women. Metaphorically. In a light-hearted way that hopefully doesn't ruffle feminist feathers.
Not that feminists have feathers... more a leathery texture, perhaps...
I'm kidding. I love women. I own three.
Joke. I love my wife. We've been together eighteen years.
Fair enough, she's been dead for seventeen years, eleven months but hey, I love the bones of her.
Joke. She's still alive. But I might not be when she reads this...
James Khan Jan 3
The schism in Islam is funny
Considering Shia and Sunni,
Muhammad got ill
And he left them no will
But the will to fight over the money.
Well, you can't roast one religion without roasting them all. After all its meant to be the same god, right?
There once was a prince with attachments to matter
In search of a way to make enemies scatter
Deep down in the well
He learned a new spell
And when he arose all illusions did shatter
There’s more than one method to meet the divine
The road to salvation is not a straight line
Skeptics, recall
Worship no god at all
While the foolish insist that there’s no god but mine
James Khan Jan 3
Old Peter, corrupted by loss
At the spineless deceit of his boss
Felt his own crucicifixon
Should mirror conviction
And went upside down on the cross.
True story. Apparently. Which is why all satanists who use this symbol of the inverted cross are actually followers of Christ's loyal yet cowardly disciple. They'll be thrilled lol.
James Khan Jan 2
Lastnight I was totally hammered
And Islam, it had me enamoured
So I started to think
I might stop with the drink
As I wanted to profit Muhammad.
Best I could do given the rhymes. And I'm tired lol.
James Khan Jan 2
When Abraham fell out with Lot
He eventually gave him a plot,
For the wealthy and modern
A condo in *****
But oh, what a smiting he got.
I'll probably edit this. I'm tired, it could be better.
James Khan Jan 2
In Exodus' terminal chapter
Old Moses is free from his captor
And God has good news
With two tablets to use
But forgets to include an adaptor!
Filling up space in my limerick book. I need at least sixty or so, with specific themes. I've only got about twelve religious limericks. Need a few more. But ******, what rhymes with Muhammad? Apart from Hammered, Stammered and Enamoured?
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