A leprechaun lives (I've been told)
Distributes the best pot o' gold:
   He grows pounds of flowers
   With magical powers,
And over the rainbow 't is sold.

O.O

There once was an eater of Reese's
Whose teeth went to soft little pieces,
   Then fell out completely.
   "Thank God!" he said sweetly,
"Ya don't need no teeth to eat Reese's!"

O.O

Geoffrey slipped in the shower stall
bashed his head against the wall
went to heaven
sent to hell
robbing Peter, paying Paul

The first house we built, the builder was already spending monies he didn't have. He declared bankruptcy, the day after we closed :D

There once was a sneezer named Mose.
He'd sneeze to the tips of his toes.
   He once sneezed so heinous
   He puked out his anus,
And blew out his brains through his nose.

O.O

A woman awoke with a bite,
Two punctures that happened at night.
   She works with two Ronalds
   At night at McDonald's,
And flees from the dawn's early light.

O.O

A man from Nantucket named Pym
Once spotted where peng-u-ins swim
   Some seals he attested
   Were left unmolested,
(At least, that's according to him.)

#

"On the smaller islands we discovered a good many of the hair seal, but did not molest them."
                                            - A.G. Pym

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cum in a bucket:
   He'd dip in a straw,
   Then work out his jaw,
And all like a porn star would suck it.

#

A man from McFarland once shitted
His pants, which were too tightly fitted:
   He popped a low squat,
   And he shitted a lot,
And it squished out his pants when they splitted.

#

A limerick is laid link by link.
It falls like a chain down a sink.
   It goes down the drain
   Like a free-falling train,
And lands with a twist and a kink.

#

There once was a man from Green Bay
Who made it a habit each day
   To fondle an udder
   And churn his own butter,
Then go for a nap in the hay.

#

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