When I write to you,
I imagine you are laying in my bed
reading over my shoulder
I think that maybe you would be
sad to know how hard my life can be
You would rub my arm
Proclaiming "How dare she talk to you like that"
Or "You're better than that new boy"
Sometimes you apologize for hurting me
Or sit in silent solidarity for the hole in my chest  
Today I watched the you that is never actually here
count my veins and arteries perfectly arranged on the floor
Turned to me "Why do you hate me?"
I told you I could never
You hold the vein that belongs in my hip
"This is where you loved me, where my thumb fits,
where I held you"
The vein is empty
I ask what you expected, you left me months ago
Your eyes make me want to apologize
I ask if you still love me
But, you are always gone before I get an answer

Sometimes I wake up drunk on daylight's dawn, sending you my intoxicated love letters through brisk mourning air, grieving everything we couldve been.

If letters on a keyboard are building blocks,
I want to build the most beautiful masterpiece.
Fitting different letters together into words,
And words into sentences.
I want these sentences to deliver thoughts that will make people's lives better.

Letters in Wartime
Words on paper
Nothing more
Telling the story of a soldier
Or airman or sailor
Letters from the front
Sent home
To a sweetheart
Or family
First read by the censor
Telling of longing to see you
And hardship in battle
Seen thru with determination
And a love of country
Fighting for them
The loved ones
Far from where
He is stationed
Saying about his mates
Some who he misses
Killed in combat
Or worse still
Missing In Action
Maybe the Red Cross
Will locate them
All this told
By words on paper
Stay safe at home
I know the Blitz is hell
But we give it
Back to the ***
Avoid the talking
About sensitive things
For walls have ears
And aid the enemy
Follow the blackout
I send my love
And will write soon
Next time sending my photo
Till then my dear
Keep the fires burning
We protect our country
With untold valour
We will win
This awful war
Later my love

Can you read what you read?
I'm sure you can and there's no need to ask.
But it's weird.
Feeling through symbols.
Understanding symbols.
Writing symbols.
Combining symbols to make sense.
But some combinations are wrong.
Making sounds for symbols.
Saying the symbols correctly.
Different accents for symbols.
Drawing symbols, making them look pretty.
Fonts for symbols.

Imagine. We are ruled by systems of symbols.

I met you today for the first time.

Again.

Noticed you when I locked eyes with a stranger.

I told myseld to refrain.

But if you promise not to hurt me this time,

I might give this one a try.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Kind regards

Nosipho

i. I LOVE YOU. you might feel i don't because you carry so much burden. but i do, my child. i love you so deep. my heart is yours to keep. i am wiping away your tears. give me your doubts, worries, and fears. cast them to me. i promise to turn them to victories and glee.

ii. I AM WITH YOU. i never left. you wonder where am i during the times you wept. but i was there through every season. i was listening as you grumble, as you asked for a reason. my beloved, please focus on me and my plans for you. trust me with everything you have, i'm bringing you to your breakthrough. this phase may hurt but i won't leave you here in the dirt. please hold on, through my Son's death the victory is already won.

iii. I AM ALWAYS WAITING FOR YOU. my child, you are my greatest treasure. my love for you, oh no one can measure. take the step to believe again in me. we'll walk together on water, i would never flee. no, you're wrong, i was never mad at you. all my life, i only looked out for you and see you through. i hurt when you sin but i see your heart my dear. i know you're broken, feeling hopeless, and wanting to disappear. please don't, i will never give up on you. a million times a day, i will only pursue you.