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rosy Oct 2018
i. I LOVE YOU. you might feel i don't because you carry so much burden. but i do, my child. i love you so deep. my heart is yours to keep. i am wiping away your tears. give me your doubts, worries, and fears. cast them to me. i promise to turn them to victories and glee.

ii. I AM WITH YOU. i never left. you wonder where am i during the times you wept. but i was there through every season. i was listening as you grumble, as you asked for a reason. my beloved, please focus on me and my plans for you. trust me with everything you have, i'm bringing you to your breakthrough. this phase may hurt but i won't leave you here in the dirt. please hold on, through my Son's death the victory is already won.

iii. I AM ALWAYS WAITING FOR YOU. my child, you are my greatest treasure. my love for you, oh no one can measure. take the step to believe again in me. we'll walk together on water, i would never flee. no, you're wrong, i was never mad at you. all my life, i only looked out for you and see you through. i hurt when you sin but i see your heart my dear. i know you're broken, feeling hopeless, and wanting to disappear. please don't, i will never give up on you. a million times a day, i will only pursue you.
When you can't forgive yourself, when your world is falling apart, when you can't live anymore, when everything is going wrong, I still love you. You are not the failure you think you are. You are not the names they call you. You are not alone. You are my greatest love. My child, I long to be with you.
DubJDaddy Aug 2017
By *Sevin

Aye
My poppa was a preacher but his poppa was absentee
He did the best he could
To keep his son from living fast and free
Religious rules and Christian schools
The other children laughed at me
Plus we never had much green so I never did dress fashionably
Everybody wore the same ol’ smile
But it was just a mask to me
I saw through the hypocrisy
When the pastor made a pass at me
That ******* had a class of us
He kept asking us to do nasty things
To the point I have the baddest dreams of…
Savage things attacking me
We moved away but you could say
The tragedy had a lasting reach
Blocked out any memory
Still can’t stand to hear no pastor preach
By now I’m about eleven
And I’ve learned life comes with hazards B
Sometimes I just break out in tears
A dark cloud seems to pass through me
My best friend was my blood brother
And at thirteen he died tragically
And after he passed in that car crash
I wished that that was me
I had a heart but life ripped that apart and gave me apathy
I felt God did not look after me
All I have for Him is blasphemy

The rain falls on us all
The good and the bad
Same thing that’ll make you laugh
One day well it’s gone make you sad
And now I see
I gotta walk by faith and never walk by sight no
I don’t understand Your ways
But I know you’re always right
And I surrender
I surrender
I surrender
Although it hurts sometimes

Yeah
Aye I went from good kid to a hood kid

Seemed like the change came overnight
Life cloaked him with a heart that’s frozen
Rollin’ on a stolen bike
Smoking like a chimney
With a semi sitting in that holster tight
And every other word was blood
No love for who we ‘posed to fight
Went from praying prayers like
“Lord I love You and I’ll keep you close, aight?”
To “I don’t know if You even there
Just help me not get smoked tonight”
So enticed by the thought of being loved,
I'd pay the coldest price
I done sat inside a cell for ******
Who has never even thrown the kite
Rebellin’ against the God I hate
I blamed Him for my loaded life
What made it worse I played with curses
Even though I know what’s right
I used to ask church folk why life’s so hard
But I got no advice
Or they’d just relay a bunch of clichés that don’t suffice
Depressed and half psychotic
Narcotics are my chosen vice
Consumed with idols
Suicidal by eighteen I tried more than twice

I said the rain falls on us all
Said the good and the bad
Same thing that’ll make you laugh
Today well ya know it’ll make you sad
And now I see
I gotta walk by faith and not by sight
I don’t understand Your ways
oh Lord
But I know you’re always right
And I surrender
I surrender
I surrender
Although it hurts sometimes

Aye
So bitter and so broken my soul’s soaking in misery
With no hope for the future though
Cuz I’m so focused on history (none)
Till one day someone cared enough
To share just what You did for me (what?)
I can quickly see how differently you act

From the Christians I’m witnessing
You lived this thing called love
While all of us are just so nitpicky (uh huh)
You are righteousness You gave Your life for us… literally
The thought that You’re the one I hated, sickens me (yeah!)
It’s a trip to me how quickly we fall into iniquity (I'm sorry!)
Even though I acted wickedly (what?)
You still chose to sit with me (why?)
I’m the worst one on the court Lord
But yet You still keep picking me (You do!)
And now it comes so vividly
Clear that every test and every trial
Was predestined and the outcome was Your victory
Thank you

I said the rain fall yes it does
On the good and the bad oh Lord
Same thing that’ll make us laugh
One day is gonna make us sad
And now I see by your grace
I gotta walk by faith and not by sight
Yeah I know I’ll never understand Your ways Lord
But I know you’re always right
And I surrender
I surrender
I surrender
Ohhhh yes
Written by Sevin  
H.O.G.M.O.B

— The End —