Hi beautiful,

Love lives here, and we’ve got a room to spare.

Signed,
Forever Yours

This poem
is a love letter
that's been sealed with hope
and sent with the wish
that all my little words
find their way
to you.

an unidentified state
i wonder what writing this will create
but my head and my heart are at war
not with each other, just forces and more
i'm the host so it's only natural that i sink to the bottom
i think it might be peaceful at the end, where no other ends exist
for words cannot describe how i'm living with this
anyway i'll offer you my ***** again, this time you should make the pain the best yet
so i can find something to make me fall and drop even more, to return nevermore.

I was always a little
                                          D
              ­                                 E
                                                   L
                                                        I
     ­                                                       C
        ­                                                         A
                                                               ­       T
                                                        ­                   E
And have always been  a f r a i d
Of  f a l l i n g  a p a r t
Until I met you

Then I wasn't so scared anymore
That was before
I messed up
You had filled my cup
But now it only has a sip left
There was a theft
I gave you my heart
Now I'm left with only part
But that's okay -

Hey,
I can be patient until things calm down
I might frown
But that's just because I miss you
And I'm wondering if you miss me too

Wrote you a letter
Gonna send it once things get better
But for now
I wonder how
Everything went so wrong
But I'll just work on making things right
As my hope takes flight
That maybe one day
You'll be able (and want) to come back and say
You want me back

For now, Love,
I'm waiting for you
And I will do
Whatever it takes
To be okay
While you are away
And to be myself
Instead of letting it sit on a shelf

Love is fragile
It takes a while
To be steady
And it cracks
But gets patched up
We would lie on our backs
Talk about when we are grown up
Now you've got to go focus
I think I'll grow some crocus
Flowers to admire
I'll sit by the fire
To warm my half-a-heart
While we are apart

Darling, I will wait
This is fate
Right?
For now, there's no one to hold me tight
Memories of your arms around me
All of our memories - they won't leave me be
Because I'm so in love with you
And I really hope you still are too

I'll be here
My dear
Waiting for you
Do what you need to do
Then I hope you'll come find me
And we can be
Just you and me
Once again

- Jay M
March 5th, 2020

On a distant shore
I travel to you
I've twisted the top off my head
& filled it with thoughts of you
For safe keeping.
If by chance you hear my voice
While you read them.
You'll know they were meant for you.
If by chance they stretch cross
The lake of your womb
You'll know that a part of me
Will always reside in you.
I slouch in excitement
The only container I know.
An octopus trapped in a bottle
Your breath a taste of freedom

to the old crinkled paper,

i wish i could pour out
all of the bottled up feelings,
my messed up emotions and
my sinful thoughts to you ;

love,
the bleeding pen

dear you:
recently I've been getting my hopes up
and I've been meaning
to take the shuttle there myself
but it's been so long
since I've made that trip
I'm not sure I still bleed
the way I used to
I haven't existed in a while
and maybe now I'm see-through
but if you do
get here, if you do find
yourself here wandering
in the galleries
of this
library
I must tell you
there's a possibility
that you might not find me

there's little
left
of me now
and if you ask the book-runner
for my name
she might give you
my dusty diary

if it's any consolation
you can always find me here

you can always come here

In another universe we would have been soul mates, and in another we would have been best friends. Now we are neither. Just fading memories and that's okay. But sometimes I need you not to love or make love to but simply to talk to. You knew me more than anyone else. Even on the days you didn't quite love me. Maybe you could tell me what my heart wanted right now because my love life feels like a disaster. It's painful and exciting all at once and for all the wrong reasons. And I wish you were sitting next to me telling me exactly what I want. So I could disagree only to discover you were always right. That's how we worked. Or maybe that's how we fell apart. All I know now is that I don't love you anymore and that's the most liberating feeling I have ever truly known. I was trapped in this vortex of you. The one where I was determined to have you. And the problem is, the man who pulled me out of the vortex is no longer the same man making me happy. He's no longer the one making my heart twinge the way it use to for you all those years ago. But I'm wearing a ring I made engraved with forever. I'm trying to fall in love again. Because I loved him so much I swear. And I wonder if this is how you felt when we ended. When I would come over and crawl into your bed. I wonder if you tried to fall in love with me again the way I hope I fall in love with him again. And I want it known I do love him but I want to be in love. He makes me smile. But sometimes he makes me cry. Sometimes he makes me really hate myself. And I know I can be a sensitive person but I don't think he quite sees how his words break me sometimes. I want to choose him. I do. I want to say that one day too; I do. But here I am with this twinge in my heart that I'm trying to bury or force away. I tried that with you. I did. But I still ended up loving you nine long years. Tell me first love of mine. How do I say goodbye before I've said hello? How can I choose him? Because the love in his eyes remind me so much of the love I had in mine for you once upon a time.