I can howl  in words but
I say it gently instead, no, fiercely,
first to myself and to him and to her
to you if necessary and to them
for as long as it takes
why and how and what
 how come and when and what for
how is my mind, I ask even the wind
this is what I usually play on repeat
why these thoughts images feelings
sensations movements words and deeds
everything is together but not always apparent
cause we are trapped inside the curvature of  mind
evolving in tunnels unexcavated trenches
breaking loose on wider routes only when there is time
our thought trapped on certain orbits of habit
on the available energetic level at one time
the same way as our well behaved atoms spin their wonder
the same way as everything is evolving into its waterfall

imagination is the way I play with myself,
with you and them and the world
for destroying the habit of seeing hearing interpreting
we play language games everytime
we don't use the right thoughts for emerging bulshit
straightforward bullets deepening confusions
deceptions limitations judging&comparing
seduction of half truths and easy routes
or inventing enemies
so ask questions get answers
ask the same questions get other answers
I allow my mind to flow in unknown spaces
only because I learn from those
who attempt true learning
I am really forced to listen rather carefully
to the music of thinking
but about this in another poem
for now I'm listening to these feelings
and it might get unbearable
to recognize the disintegration of the night
information everywhere you look
you can wear your thoughts as your shoelace
or you can envision perhaps this poliphony of meaning
cause thought is no other than a form of relating everything to everything else
there are crystals of meaning cause we need more facets
they need to be smashed and reinvented
don't be afraid the riverbed will stay pretty much the same
it's fine to know what you know and there
is so much that we don't
we are not innocent creatures in not knowing
only sometimes perhaps
we need to listen to our deeper thoughts
who is the dancer who is the dance

what about this pain, always this pain
I don't know if you know
that turns the marriage of body&mind into
the marriage of heaven&hell,
as Blake put it

some don't believe in the Gulag of the mind
so the fate of the unconscious is to repeat itself
when it is just the psychoanalytic bulshit
they don't need they don't care they protest against
you see there is also this sweet sweet desire for not knowing

perhaps I am waiting for my mind
your mind/the collective mind
to embrace me
to embrace you
to embrace itself

We are taught as children that
Whatever doesn't **** us makes us stronger
But my body is unable to forget
That I am more victim than I am survivor.
I have yet to learn how to turn my pain into strength
However you didn't **** me
And my strength is shown in staying awake shaking and crying
As I am unable to stop reliving the past.
My body carries you from place to place  
Like a fever that i cannot break
You are relentless
You are the unforgiving shadow that i cannot cut off.

To live a life unscathed
is not to live at all
the nature of existence
means learning how to fall
how can you know what's out there
if you never jump off the wall

It's not a tick box exercise that can be done in a day, it will be long and relentless. It's learning to hold your tongue when your body screams to have a say in the matter, LORD forgive me. It is learning to die to yourself through all the guilt and temptation of modern life, LORD forgive me. It's learning to surrender to the inclinations of your natural life and bring them to the LORD.

Trying to ignore the voices inside my head is like trying to ignore the pain from a candle when my hand is held over the flame and sometimes I just can't. Living by faith is hard work, not wanting to live to satisfy the body is hard work. Wanting to live by faith isn't the same as being ‘good’, and I'm still trying to learn and remember that.

I’m learning a lot, dating Peter. For instance, I have a whole new awareness of how clueless older Americans, like people in their mid-twenties, are about things in the modern world.

I think Peter’s learning things too. Like the other night, I was 30 minutes late because I was gluing little, glittering rhinestones to my eyebrows. Was he mad? Yes, we had a little drama, but that’s just because he hasn’t learned to respect my lifestyle choices.

“Don’t be mawkish Peter,” I softly advised him, while fixing the caller of his shirt, “look, let's just pretend that we squabbled over this, and I won?” I suggested, helpfully. “It’ll save us time and WOW, we’re running late, OK? Seeing some small, lingering irritation, I promised, “We can still makeup later.”

The rhinestones looked spectacular, I got a LOT of compliments and in the end, I think he liked them. You know, sometimes I’ll catch him looking at me, like the moon or something, like I’m out of reach.

Guys are so.. (searching for a word).

Often when you’re looking
For a meaning to be sought
You can explain a thing
By describing what it’s not

Bitcoin does NOT

Require permission to use
Allow an increase in supply rate
Discriminate in any way
Enable freezing of accounts
Care who is using it
Hide what’s happening on chain
Control what you do with money
Lead to centralized power
Favor the financially privileged

So in your Bitcoin learning
Don’t get all distraught
You can see its massive value
By knowing what it’s not

Boil 2 cups of rice, until tender

Put the 2 cups of rice in two different clear containers, or jars, with lids.

Label one container "bad" and one container "good"
Place in different rooms but same light and dark

You can just put them up and wait, or you can put a bad memory on bad rice and good memory on other rice.
Or just drawings of what you perceive to be bad or good.

Or you can just talk **** to the bad rice, and let out all your frustrations and resentments.
And tell the good rice all about the good things about that day.

Within 3 days you will have your results.

You have power to make things good, or cause it to mold and rot.

People are the same way. Your perception of someone can help or hurt them.

It is a mold in your mind created by AI.
Or a flower created by good thought and care.

I am Rip
awakened from a long sleep
finally my eyes opening
to see a new world.

I failed 7th grade three times because I refused to **** wildflowers and press them between wax paper. I also refused to dissect frogs and other animals.

Those wildflowers and frogs were all I had in the patch of woods...where I had to hide.

My science teacher looked just like a toad with a beard. Ms Farley. Vermilion Middle School. Ohio