It was so much easier, making decisions in
the dim lighting of that corner
neighborhood bar, whiskey burning down my
throat, your hand on my waist--a dare to
wandering eyes, and a promise just between
us as we stumbled our way home. It began to
rain and my hair was curling, but I didn't
care in the lamppost light of the street
then, church bells tolling midnight
somewhere in the distance. Everything was
perfect that night, in the dark, with you.

i sleep every night with a ghost
its a ghost of my past who i wish could be here present
that would be the best gift
its a ghost of my memories who reminds me all the smiles and laughs
the softness of her skin is a bitter punishment so her touch just moves threw me
and glues my eyes to the ceiling
trying to sleep but cant get over me missing the feeling
and our bodies shifting like tectonic plates in an earth quake
but the ghost next to me has me wide awake
just the thought of her bring me to split
from smiles to tear hopes to fear sober to beers
but lets make one thing clear
i cant wait to replace this ghost
with the girl who wishes she was here

My mind drifts in this abyss
And as it goes and goes and goes
I cannot stop it from touching those
Tender, broken, shattered pieces of what seems to be so hard to identify and erase from the mind.

My mind keeps on expanding
And as it goes and goes and goes
It touches those forgotten, dusty little corners and invokes a new set of flames in my heart.

The fire reaches the bones that keep me sane and i begin to transition into ash.
The wind picks up all the particles and scatters me
here
and there.

Finally, I am away from myself.

We fly up in the sky
With the wind in our eyes.

When you laugh in a quiet room.
Laughing in our minds.

Our favorite season is the summer.
That's  when we get to be good lovers (others.)

somehow her hair halts me at every sentance
a dark brown finsh over a cute slinder face
her personalty speaks rhthmic poetry
like a connection over mortal things
and the only thing she said was hi
normaly i would forget a greeting
but it seems so inviting  if the whole world went left it seemed like the right thing
so like lightning i respond hi
tripped over my words
and got lost in her eyes
a pale blue that could unviel any disguise
she said my name is hannah
and so nearly 2 hearts almost coldide

Hearts with hands reach out to feel
to get affection that can't be received over wifi connection
and  with a doubtful mind hopping for a heart to heart seems like a shot in the dark  
aiming at a mark mile away afraid of walking up to talk and having nothing to say
so you stay in your same tame space to fill the hole to mesh in the mold or just someones hand to hold
or share jacket when its cold or are these love clichés getting old
I should be trying something new
sipping on the old coffee but I need new brew
then maybe soon this single heart will turn into two

All my feeling and emotions
have turned into thin paper
that you can easily cut

all what I'm going through means nothing
yet it means alot


I know I'm an open wound
but I keep ignoring it as it bleeds.

I can't tell you how much it's bleeding
if its right in front of you and you can't see.

and I don't want to depend on anything
to help it mend
to help it heal

So, I just ignore it
even though it's real

and now my thoughts have turned paper thin
cause I keep cutting down the trees
and remaking them.

Right now I just wanna move on
So being Paper thin
seems better than a growing tree

Inhale
Holding the smoke captive in my lungs
Soon it escapes my lips and runs wild in air
It dances in the moonlight
I lay my head back and watch it run away
Another puff, another escape
Full moon, time to blaze
Memories of you flood in
Your touch is like razor blades kissing my skin
Scars to forever remind me of all my sins
Exhale,
Then breathe in
I keep letting my demons win
Inhale
It's starting to kick in
Just like the clouds pouring from my mouth
I fade into the night
With a blink of an eye
Exhale
Goodbye