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Rishawn May 2020
She wasn't right for me
Tell her that
I can't
Yes you can
Why choose to hurt who you love the most?
Because lying to sooth your soul is violating the pureness of her love
So be honest?
Tell your truth, share your story and choose to love yourself
What if there is pain?
Life is suffering, highs can only be felt once lows are known
I wish I was as strong as you
You are talking to me and I am you, its in you to be free, if you let me be you and you be me
Jennifer May 2020
a cog too easily wound
is my heart,
for even if i do not love
i never ache to leave -
not even a silver bullet could part
me from those i display a
sliver of my soul;
for loneliness is a growth,
a vampire-like specimen that *****
the hope from my
chest.
a poem on loneliness, the fear of being abandoned, and the fear of never being loved again.
Jennifer May 2020
painted my nails, nice and
red, glossy.
smiled at the sky,
moon: silent woman in
a white dress.
slept,
eyes rolling;
sweet surrender.
Raeann May 2020
Good morning, I hope your well.
Haven't talked to you in a while.
Saw your mom she looks sad I gave her a hug and we cried for a long while. It felt good.

Are you in a diffrent body and when random people smile at me or are nice to me, is that you?

When I see a stranger and i feel like i know that person  thats impossible unless it's you...
! Next time maybe hold a purple bandana then I'll known its you for sure.

I miss our long talks so much has happend over the years and I dont think anyone will fill your place.

I wanted to **** myself the  other day, held my breath underwater till it hurt

I named a scar after you not a healthy reaction I know, but the cuts deep and didnt bleed. It's tough like you.

Good morning. Hope you're doing fine.

Went to sleep because I was stupid enough with a stranger  I was afraid I wouldent be able to find you.
Then I thought maybe I'd find someone who is lost like me and they knew you and you are fine.

I'm still afraid of birds but a crow near my house gets close to me and seems kind and will make weird noises at me some times I feed it and talk to it like it's you.

Sad music makes me feel better.
Were you the same?

Mother said I cannot marry a girl would you have married me?

Good night.. talk to you again.
Many journal entries to a good friend who passed away when i  was 13.
Let me know if youd like more of these.
Jennifer May 2020
breeze and distant
traffic whisper,
smells like lavender,
words get scrawlier,
head full of coffee and dreams of
green.
it’s just another day, sky’s blue,
sleep’s on my mind;
all i see is concrete.
it’s noon.
how is it noon?
Jennifer Apr 2020
cocooned, like some hungry
butterfly desperate to flee
once more into the world,
i stare at the sullen clouds from
my kitchen window and
sigh with longing.

if only i were a leaf, or a
feather:
then a soft breeze could carry me
anywhere.
some morning thoughts.
Katy Erin Apr 2020
I woke up this morning with an incredibly painful longing for freshman year of college.  Living in the dorm with one window that overlooked the soccer field.  Having that Jessica Alba poster while still claiming to be straight except to one or two close friends and any girl I didn't know when I was drunk.  Having to ******* in the shower.  Having to sneak into classrooms or out to my car at night to hook up with boys I didn't like.  Having to take a walk just to get some alone time.  Walking down to the tiny creek that went through campus to sit and journal and feel alone on purpose.  Having an emotional breakdown on the steps of the main building at 3am after the boy I liked went home with someone else and feeling alone on accident.  Wondering if any of my new friends really liked me. Wondering if any of my old friends were really impressed by me.  Wondering if my family was really proud of me.  Wondering if I would ever use chemistry in real life.  Wondering why I was alone. Wondering why I liked being alone. Wondering if I would always be alone.

I miss the solitude of loneliness.
I miss not really knowing anyone.
I must have been dreaming of it.
Jennifer Apr 2020
hi. this past week went by like
a half forgotten dream: the time
passed too quickly,
i did very little and
i seem to remember the time i slept
and dreamt better than my
waking moments.
my mind has been scarce of
creativity and
even thought - though
i am healthy i feel
quite lifeless.

today is white and
dull, days like this
sometimes feel like static, like
the world is buffering,
like
the time has come to a halt.
i don’t usually miss the sun, but
these days are dull to
begin with.
i sit all day staring at screens and do
not much else - i’m growing quite
tired of it. but
on days such as these i feel
i barely have a
choice, so here i sit writing to you
and i am not all displeased.

at least i can say i wrote
today.
but what will all of this writing
come to? maybe
a poem, or a love
note, or a memory. or maybe
it will be something i can
look back on,
and giggle at how
silly
and sentimental i am.
just a journal entry of mine that i thought sounded particularly poetic.
Kristen Apr 2020
I don’t understand these days,
the poetry I speak,

Or value my inner author
enough to strive for literary peaks,

And yet, here I am
writing about my writing still-

Words won and lost
with the drop of my quill,

A ballpoint pen
to be more exact,

But who in my journal
is in need of such facts?
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