Some roses are red,
Some tulips are magenta,
We hardly can believe
Four years ago we met ya.

Most grass is green,
Diamonds and ice are rocks,
We hope you enjoy your books,
new clothes and socks.

Nighttime sky is black,
The ocean (I guess) is teal,
How lucky we are
To have you is so unreal.

The sun appears yellow,
Boogers are chartreuse,
If you were a ******,
We'd always pick you!

All Philosophy Is

                                                                                *******

                                But Can You Grow Anything

                   Without

      A Little

                   Manure

Someone asked me
"What does happiness feel like?"
and it took me a while
to answer.

then I said,
"I'm not sure but
I hope happiness feels
like what a fat kid feels
when eating cake"

I am so mad that I have to live in a world where
**** jokes are funny
catcalling is normal
touching with no permission is not a big deal
and where boys complain that they have to ask for consent

A gauntlet, of sorts...
The proverbial frog in the ***, I was.
The temperature of life went from heaven to hell,
and I boiled and drowned in the hate I thought was love.

Question one: who prepared the broth?
Answer: Me...

Stuck in the endless quackery of bottomless insanity.
Tasting the brutal shenanigans of deviant savagery.
I came upon the realization that *** was a tapestry,
that I've been weaving since I was in nappies and won't give up gladly,
but I obsess over the embroidery and the glistening femininity,
what I now know to be delusions of romance and calamity.

Question two: who proved to be unwilling to love in the end?
Answer: Me...

Last question you knave, you hopeless bumpkin.
You wayward host of tasteless pumpkins.
My tactless whims for stagefright dumplings.
Deflated effigies of, "Oh... sweet nothings."
Darling, you crazy, you an expert on bluffings,
Teetering on the cliff, with your pinstriped stuffing.
I carry my shorts on the inside, on the outside I'm long,
Word play is horse ****, but if you understand me, you're wrong.

Question three: who sold their soul for entertainment in the end?
Answer: We...

Some blokes are full of Dad jokes,

They have a wealth of these and are delivered with the corny expertise that only a Dad has.

They get a grin on their face as they lean forward like they’re about to say something profound.

“I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.”

“What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.”

“I hate Russian Dolls, they’re so full of themselves.”

“Apparently, pet birds are popular this Christmas, they’re flying off the shelves.”

Passed down from Grandads to fathers,

One-liners for us to consume,

It’s the closest thing some have to a family heirloom.

“What did the first African phone user say? Kenya hear me now?”

“A cat's favourite Queen song? Don’t stop meow.”

When reversing his car, “This takes me back.”

Wedding speech, “It’s been an emotional day, even the cakes in tiers.”

There've been so many down the years,

Yes, they’re cringy but we should enjoy them while we can,

You never know what's in store, and they’ll be a time when we’d love to hear them just once more.