My mind is a maze
Mirrored walls
Sloped floors
I can't find my way out of it

Like a circus freak show
My mind freaks me out
Terrorizing me in the night
Invading my resting dreams

But in these times I'm lost
Although I'm scared and alone
There is peace in these halls
Of my mazed mirrored mind

I don't regret the choice I made,
The decision forced on me, to go away.

I live today off another day-old danish.
Crystallized sugar sticks to my lips for a moment,
Then it falls away, bouncing off my lap to the ground.
Like it's representative of what happened to us,
We were stuck to each other, then hit the ground. Hard.

Our vibrant red love diminished to a dull charcoal. It boiled to a vapor and was eradicated by a gust of wind.
It's almost like I went to sleep holding you in my arms, and woke up with a new face, in a different house, a totally different person.

Yet, the puddle on the ground from the rainfall earlier holds my reflection, and I have the same face I had when I was with you.

Apple pie is a wonderful treat, one of my favorite desserts.
With a warm, flaky crust, a scoop to make it à la mode,
Sweet with a spoonful of whipped cream.

But the pie by itself, doesn't make it my favorite treat.
It's where it takes my mind whenever I see it,
Smell it,
Taste it...

It was not your beauty that smote my heart, though you are beautiful.
It was not your illustrious eyes withholding a gorgeous soul.
It was not your delicate face that fills mirrors with joy when they reflect it.
All theses are parts of your magnificent, appealing body.
It was not your charm that smote my heart, though you are charming also.
It was not your gracious kindness and loving hugs as I cried into my pillow, broken by life's wicked games.
It was not your adorable bubblyness that cheered my spirits everyday.
All these are great parts of your stunning character.

It was you, only you, that stormed the keep of my frail and dying heart.
Seeing me as I was - broken like glass on a marbled floor - you gathered the shards and mended them with your own.

I sometimes wonder if there's something that reminds you of me, the way this apple pie reminds me of you.

Does a smile cross your beautiful face when I first say hello to you?
Do you stay awake tossing and turning because I won't leave your head or your heart?
Does your stomach tingle when we're separated from each other's company?
Did you cry alone at night when you and I thought we would never speak to each other again?

Do you love me?
Do you know I love you?

These are my thoughts, my questions,
After a slice of,
Apple pie.

Slice slice slice
All over my arm.
Slash slash slash
All over my thighs
Cut cut cut
All over my hips

Making Roman numerals all over my skin
Hoping it will silence the voices within
Letting the blood run down and around
Hoping agony will drown and run aground.

My skin will mend
My bleeding will stop
But scars will remain
Penned onto my heart.

I had a gift for you, once
Wrapped perfectly and in pristine condition
It was the absolute best gift ever
Nothing else could compare.

But first, I was convinced to open it for another
One who wanted to show me how to use it
Then came the second, to show myself I could use it
And the third, to master the use of it.

Now I don't know how many times it's been used
It's well worn, half broken... tainted...
The wrapping paper is gone
And it's value is less than a dime.

I was supposed to wait for you
But I wanted fun and pleasure
And now, this night is here
And my gift is not yours alone.

I'm so sorry...