I was once told
That you would never leave me
That you would always be there for me
But now

You're gone

You had a secret
A dark secret
You confessed
I forgave you
Then you
Killed yourself

I don't care
That you're not perfect
I'm glad you're being you

But when I confessed my secret
You weren't there to listen
You never forgave me

It's okay
I'm not one to hold a grudge for long

Goodbye

Unless you want to see me again
But you can't do that now

Can you?

You know
I already know why you hide your secrets
You're forgiven
But do you finally understand
Why I hide mine?

There's no one to forgive me
Not one

So stop becoming jealous everytime I lie
Because
The truth is
If I didn't

I'd never feel loved...

That's your fault
Not judging
Just saying

I have to lie to you
Because you'd never understand

If you want to save me
Then grow up

I'm afraid of losing you,
Afraid that one day you'll wake up and realize
She's the one you need and not me,
She makes you happy more than I do,
And that time will come and she'll never be
Just a "best friend".
She was there before I came to your life,
And I know you know, she craves you
Just like the way I do.
And I don't know if deep down your heart,
You feel the same thing for her too.
I wonder if every time she smiles,
You fall for her, like how you fell for mine.
I wonder if there was a time
You thought of choosing her instead of me,
I may sound selfish, but I hope to God
She stops loving you, stops holding you,
Stops thinking of you,
Because I want to be the only one
To do that to you.
*I'm afraid of losing you
But you're not even mine to keep.

It takes so much self hate
To starve as much as me

It takes so much sadness
To use up all your dignity

It takes so much isolation
To have so much to hide

It takes so much strength
To live on half dead inside

It takes so much anxiety
To fear any fat in my skin
                              
It takes so much energy
To constantly be so thin

It takes so much self hate
To ***** as much as me

It takes so much jealousy

Jealous
No Trust
Yelling, Fighting, Blaming
Heartbroken- I'm a monster
Jealous

Bitter
No Happiness
Sulk, Withdrawn, Silent,
Pessimistic about the future
Bitter

I
Did This
Blaming, Screaming, Pushing
Realizing, it was me
I

Monster
My own
Creating, Forming, Spawning
Pity for the creature
Monster