I am jealous of your life before.
Of all the fingers that have touched you,
And the ears that have heard you say
“I love you.”
I am jealous
Of all the parts of you I will never know,
Of all the years that I didn’t play a part in,
Of all the smiles that I didn’t cause.
I know I have no right to be,
I cannot claim every piece of you,
I cannot deny you a history,
I cannot be your everything.
But god knows, I want to be.
Because what if those ghosts of fingers
Still touch you?
What if you still hear the echoes
Of “I love you”s that tripped from tongues
Other than mine?
What if all those smiles,
Half remembered,
Make you long for lips you used to kiss?
What if,
What if,
What if.
I don’t know how to not be afraid
Of losing you.
I am scared that one day you will wake up,
And look at me,
And realise I am so hollow
And I have so little to give.
I am scared that you will realise
You are worth so much more
Than me.

i am envious
of what you have,
but not
of who you are

regardless,
it withers me

instead of watching
your garden grow, even if
i find it
utterly dull;

perhaps,
i should start digging up
the earth in my own,
neglected plot

and observe
what becomes

I feel it in my nerves,
A jolt that goes through me when I see them with others,
A fear that picks the strings of my heart,
Why am I not the one?
I open my heart,
Lay out all of my feelings and hurts,
Just to be swept under the rug again,
Why didn't you choose me?
I get headaches and lie down,
Somehow trying to drown,
I am not this which holds me,
Jealousy.

You used to think I was jealous because I was a possessive person. You used to think I didn't want to share you; that the thought of another person touching you made my skin burn.
My jealousy did not come from possessiveness.
It came from insecurity. It came from the reality that I was giving you less than what you deserved.
You deserved the warmest hellos and the saddest goodbyes but I disregarded you like you weren't rare. You deserved all the attention that one can give. You deserved to be chased even when you were already caught. You deserved tender lips and ultimate worship. You deserved fragile care.
I didn't give you that.
I gave you cold shoulders and reckless caring. I gave you little to no nurturing and I will forever hate myself for it.
I was jealous because I knew someone else could have offered you better. I was jealous because I knew someone could offer you love.
I was jealous because I was scared you would realize.
You were too naive to admit it.

I wrote a *******, and posted it confidently
And the only like that i get, was yours.
It was you, my bestest friend.
Will be posting some **** like this once again
Because i know that thousand many people may ignore it,
But my friend will still manage to put a smile on my face.
Stupid him will still like it.
Not because it's a great piece
But just because he loves me.
Just because he want to see me happy.
Just because we are friends.
Just because my happiness matter to him.
Just because we both love each other.............
This love does not ask for gifts from each other
Or to that matter daily goodnight kisses.
Neither does it ask for your constant attention.
In this kinda of love you need not tell me how your day had been like,
You just tell me why are you sad
And I promise to beat your misry to death.
It is different........
It's my definition of love.....
FRIENDSHIP equals LOVE.

I want to possess you.

I want the quivering of your throne,
The trembling of your bones underneath me.
I want beautiful blood to bleed for me.
Reach for me from your place beneath me.

Between my fingers
I want to feel the struggling breaths of your heart,
Pinched veins in your throat,
And your whimper like a sweet ****.
In the dark...the dark.

The dark in my selfish eyes match the night.
The coo in my voice tells you it's fine...
Bruises ruin ruined skin,
I make you mine.

Thin nails along your jaw,
Devil's claw.
Say it now, say it raw:
You are mine.

Never let another come near,
Nor touch you, taste you.
Raging jealousy, I fear.
You are my pet who speaks when I say, my dear.

On the scent of musk, a predator's lust;
I must admit unsettling crime:
I'm tired of watching...
I'll make you mine.

Now beg for me.
Rope 'round your wrists,
Under my control.
You are darling like this.

Teeth leave starved greedy marks,
Labored torn lips and fingertips
Where the sweat pools in the dark...
The dark.

How is it possible
To feel two things at once?
    "Dichotomies."
        Atrocities
That sheer the mind like paper.
"I hate you,
                     I love you,"
Spoken so close together.
Every time,
Each some crime.
I'm b roKen then TRANSFORMED.


A swelling heart,
                              A burning rage.
Back     and     forth.
Don't turn the page.
Not again,
Not like this.
Please don't stop this thrilling chase.


"Stay with me,"
                           "Leave me be,"
If you know what's best for you.
I'm good for you,
I promise you.
"Don't look at me,"
                                  "Who is she?"


I'll isolate
Everything.



There is none,
I'm the one.


I am nothing,
This time it's final.
I'm sick of you,
So don't come back.
                                   Where are you going?
                                   Why am I sewing
                                   This new patch?

                                    Let me f
                                                   a
                                                     d
                                                         e
                                                            i n  t  o    b   l    a     c     k . . .