I wish you could see me
More than my gaze,
More than my smile
I wish you could hear more than these words
That I’m speaking out loud

Your eyes wander up and down slowly against my silhouette
Yearning my embrace, craving my warmth
Just to fill your thirst with your empty glass
Eyes that lust - dress me up in lies.
Gouge them out and throw them away, please - If you can not, meet me in purity

Haunted by tomorrow’s hopes,
I wish you could see me.
Not just idolize or fantasize
I am not your projection
I am not your sacred prize
I wish - you could see me.

Immaturity loves Shiny objects,
Because that’s what beings are to IT - objects, right?

IT caught a Butterfly and caged her in,
Just to boast: “I touched her Wing.”
But never asked how Light is fed,
Or why the Stars sleep in her head

IT wants to say IT once touched Divinity,
But not honor it, nor grow with it

In seeking to cage the Butterfly,
You lost the chance to learn
how to tend your own Light
in the presence of one
Who carried Sun in her wings

I can never be enough,
Or fully myself.
You want me to limit my presence for your liking,
Need to be careful not to shine too bright, Otherwise you’ll go running to the shadows. There’s the comfort zone..
Did I scare you?

“Too much” - what does that even mean?

Perhaps it’s just the trembling scream
Of egos fearing what they lack,
So they attack or turn their backs,
Since her fullness can only be tolerated in fragments.


If you want to stay in your comfort zone,
By all means go ahead, regress.
But don’t expect me to conform.

I don’t operate for likes,
Or to have people understanding me anyway. I know all wisdom seekers were also once never understood,
So I don’t expect you to.
But nobody told me how lonely
This path of Truth was to be walked upon.

This is the ache of the mystic,
The healer, the truth teller
The one who feels so much, Sees so deeply
Yet must often walk
Without being truly met

Still…

I wish you could See Me.

In the depth of the night, I wish upon a star
To be a part of your story, not just a distant observer afar
Instead of just smiling at your whatsapp status
I wish to be the words in your captions
I wish I could call you, at any time of the day
To share my thoughts, to listen to the things you'd like to say
"How was your day?", I wish I could ask you
To share in your joys, to ease any blue
I wish to know your favorite color, the food that makes you smile
To understand the little things that make your life worthwhile
I wish someday you’d call me for a ride in a fine weather
To explore unknown roads, to watch the setting sun together
I wish for a coffee date, or a walk beneath the sky
To exchange stories and laughter, as time passes by
I wish you'd sing for me, a song of your choice
I wish to be lost in your soulful surreal voice
I wish you knew, the depth of my heart
How I admire you, right from the start
But you, like a star, distant and bright
Forever out of reach, in the quiet of night
I know these dreams may never find their way
Still, I wish for you to be mine someday.

I always throw these really cool birthday parties
And I always invite a bunch of people
From Near and far
And have always made loads of effort into making it perfect;
The right venue, the correct menu,
For all the people old and new-
In whatever childish attempt to make myself feel like I am loved
To help myself to feel that I am loved,
But I can not recall the last time I had a birthday
Where I didn't wish that I wasn't born.

-fir.m

They say "time flies when you're having fun." But I don't remember having any fun.
And I know I'm not the only one.
I remember working. Fighting about money. But, for the life of me, I don't remember my kid being much bigger than a bunny.
I remember being stressed in great detail.
I even remember daydreaming
about getting a boat and sailing away.
But of all the things I wish I could remember,
I wish I knew where the time had gone.
Where my life had gone.

Let’s run away?

Its not supposed to be this hard
right?
I'm not supposed to wonder day to day if i'll be ok
right?
I look back at pictures of the people I had to leave behind
they still remember me like I remember them
right?
Im not the only one who feels like they have to move on
right?
But you see I cant help thinking they dont remember me
I know i'm not ok
I am trying...