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Janna B Nov 2020
When he left me
his soul was gone for me
and his body was still there.
His anger was new
his distance was new
and his lack of touch too
I was so confused.
I was pregnant, then a mum.
Untouched, the silence dumb.
Bereaved, intense loss
Husband won't touch me
there's only frost.
How do I even speak of this?
he's doing the chores
but there's such an abyss.
Two years more
and I realise
depression brought
this demise.
Fool, it took me too long
to understand what was wrong
but this knowledge never did
bring back his song.
He remained, gone.
Here's me, trying to process and express how isolating and devastating my husband's depression was for me. I didn't know what it was for so long. He never came back to me, and I don't have any more give now. I will focus forward **
Maria Hernandez Oct 2020
I told myself
"I will have a great day"
We tell ourselves things that are so cliche
but makes us feel even more isolate.

Despite the positive affirmations
I felt so unmotivated and everything I did or told myself I will do
made it feel like it was obligated.
Tony Tweedy Aug 2020
You step out into the world and its tendrils seek to entwine.
It takes away my hopes and all the dreams I once held as mine.

You are faced with expectations and choices so not of your own.
You come to think it not so bad when life is both empty and alone.

It becomes just easier to forget about hope and any form of dream.
Responsible to self and away from expectations endless scream.

You close the world outside behind your safeties solid door.
And give up on love and dream like clothes discarded on the floor.

You accept a life of little value and so too the feel it will never end.
All for reassurance outside consequence wont reach in to offend.

I write of being sad and lonely in many of the poems that I write.
But I am conscious, it is I who cast love and hope out into the night.
I know there are many who have come to feel this way. A loss of something that makes trusting the world and others just so difficult to do. Sometimes finding a light at the end of the tunnel doesn't have the appeal others may expect us to have. Controlling the light switch even in darkness offers a level of security that some of us prefer. Your expectations scare us and it is what made us seek darkness as refuge.
-elixir- Jul 2020
The conversations go on,
With the four walls,
As it dampens the silence
Of the isolated winds,
As I dive into them.
How long till it ends or just begins?
Malina May 2020
i've spent so much time in my bedroom
that i've memorised the walls.
i know every stain
every scratch
like the back of my hand
because it's become my new every day

i guess my physical presence
was the reminder of my existence
and now that it's gone
i'm no longer present in their thoughts
and so i'm left here
alone
i just need to be able to hug someone
Jennifer May 2020
heed the air
for there are particles swooping
like vultures there,
with every breath death does prance
like a playful fawn,
and some ritual dance.
i never thought this bane would come
to this small world i live,
shutters closed, streets numb,
faces masked and souls glum.  
stare at the same four walls a day
at least i’m safe, netheless turning
dizzy. read, read, read till my eyes fray;
my ghost is ebbing,
flowing far away.
Empire May 2020
I'm happy for you
Really, I mean it
There's nothing that I need more
Than to know you're doing alright

But I just... I can't help it...

Within the privacy of my own mind
I remind myself
That I will never have that kind of happiness
I will never get to live like that
And I want it so badly
I can't take it away from you
By letting you in on what I'm feeling
It would seem that some of my favorite people are doing quite well for themselves. Truly, I'm glad for them, but I am reminded of the emptiness inside me that I don't expect to ever be able to fill.
Clay Face Apr 2020
Look at me like an animal,
with-drawled and wing over young;
my peers.

Separate them from us, perceived as vile.
You fabricate a false stigma,
a shrouding ghost stench we excrete.

You’ve kept me from connection,
congealed by your false projection!
Falling farther from coitus, laughter, and joyous.
Torch of aspiration, doused in fabrication.

Curious, like a bee,
buzzing around but can’t see.
Craving sent bitter,
they hate all but those sitter.

Elect thyself primus.
Hate me like a sinner.
Blasphemy to love brother or sister.
You can’t mask your vileness.

You’ve kept me from connection,
congealed by your false projection!
Falling farther from coitus, laughter, and joyous.
Torch of aspiration, doused in fabrication.
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