i'm not searching for "just for fun,"
the puppy-love craved by children
who desire clammy hand-holding
and uncomfortable glances

i don't want "just because"
or a filler just for now
until someone with brighter eyes
and a genuine smile
decides to replace me

i don't want to be a second option
or to force smiles
or to try and impress
all for the sake of a title

i want not being able to fall asleep
even with the weight of a whole day's stress
resting upon my heavy eyelids
and i crave
not being able to breathe
because then, the empty spaces
and incomplete pieces
in my lungs
in my heart
in my brain
will be overflowing
with thoughts of you

no matter how much attention boys give me
no matter how many compliments i get
i am alone
and i miss your shoulder

no matter how many nights i cry myself to sleep
no matter how many saturdays i spend in my room
i am alone
and i miss your voice on the other end of the line

no matter how many books i read
no matter how many of your worlds i spend time in
i am alone
and i crave your embrace

i am alone
i am alone
i am alone

Regretful Memories

Unsurely, I can feel the certainty in your kiss. It lingers, like unrequited love. Hopeful, lustful, incomplete, lost.

What’s missing, your fingers play my hair as if they were piano cords.

Nothing, I breathe in. Everything, I exhale.

You taste like burnt cigarettes. And mint. I count how many stars I saw in your eyes, and I know the lightning in the sky doesn’t matter. Thunder, thunder, thunder. Bang. Bang. Bang. Rumbling thunder. You play them away. And my feet are off the ground. My skin is electrified and I realize that I am alive. Then dead. At the same time. Bliss. Is that what this is about?

Yes, you beg.



Yes and plead.

...

Published in LALUNA Magazine, Norway - April 5, 2014

You told me that you
And you never
I will never forget when you said
Because for that one moment suspended in time
To me you were
But then I realized
And it hurt
Because you told me
You called me
And I believed you
My mistake

Finish each Incomplete sentence the way your emotions lead you. Please comment with the version of this poem with the phrases completed, unique to you. I really want to see how it differs between different people.

His moonlight skin
My guide in the dark
Eyes a galaxy
But I'm searching for his heart

He plucked the sun from the sky
Swapped it for my soul
Though you can't have both day and night

We compliment each other
*But can never complete each other

Do I really know what the light is?
I have peered up into the stars
And saw them glowing ever so brightly
But have I felt the light to it's fullest?

I have seen people bathe in the light
Some literally living in the light
But do I really know what the light looks like?

An incomprehensible amount of people
They know the light inside and out
Yet I am so incompetent to understand
I have felt the light with my fingertips
And claim I know all about the light

I found a star
A star willing to give me a shine of her light
I felt her light shine upon myself
But than I got scared and ran
I ran from her light

Although I missed the light
The light I barley got to feel
I miss it because I burnt her out
Burnt her dry and gone

Do I know the light?
The light I had
But burnt out?
I've seen the light for ages
So I just turned my light dim

Dim - dim
I sat near the rim
Sitting there looking very grim
I looked back and took a skim
A skim down memory lane

I held her light
She did not want to fight
I wanted to hold her light longer
But it was to late
Because I had burnt her out

Do I really know the light?
I should have known
Known of my incompetent mind
I should have taken the time
The time I could have used and learnt
To learn all about the light

Death is not the greatest tragedy,

Great tragedies begin
Where stories don't end,
In death, or in life;

In life - "what might have happened?"
is the slow poison that wears
us down, with hearts heavy
and hollow, waiting for answers
'till death.

And death is not the greatest tragedy.
Life left incomplete is.