I go to sleep tired
and wake up exhausted.
But I still carry on each day as normal
and pretend that I'm okay,
so you don't have to feel this way.

- Keeping to myself to protect all else

I forgot that it stung,
Silver against my skin.
But the tickle up my nose,
Makes me feel okay again.

My heart is still bleeding,
Unsuccessful with moving on.
Thinking of you under the night sky,
Staring blissfully until dawn.

And if I make it til tomorrow, I'll let you knock me down to size. I'll stop this ugly petty show. I won't ask you to empathize.

And if tomorrow comes for me, I won't be so self absorbed, I'll do more for you and them, I won't leave you so ignored.

And if I make it til tomorrow, I'll tell my Dad it's not his fault. I'll take the blame for my side of things, I'll be more grateful for what he brought.

And if tomorrow comes for me, I'll fight the urge to rediscover what that needle's all about, I'll leave that up to another.

(and I won't have to write that note apologizing to my mother.)

And if I make it til tomorrow, I'll take the time to treat you right. I'll back off when you are tired, I'll back you up in the fight.

But today is no good, there's nothing left, I'm all alone. I burned each bridge back to life, I've blocked the route to hope and love. So, so long, goodbye tomorrow, I wont be there if you come. Tonight, I'm here, freeing you, as I become a setting sun. Just like that stupid song that was sang by Neil Young.

Snared upon a rusted hook
A hook that's known as Doubt
Deep in my skin
It stays within
As blood slowly seeps out

Thrashing against it's tangled hold
Is how I used to fight
But now I lay
In disarray
Sinking deeper into my plight

Closing my eyes I hear them well
The words they screeched and sang
Fatty, ******
Liar, Doozy
Deep in my mind these rang

I'm tired of my empty shell
Their opinions are quite right
I'm finally done
My demons won
I'll forever be out of your sight

After what we have ends,
I want you to know
that I'm okay.
I don't cry myself to sleep
neither do I stalk you on facebook

I don't talk to my friends about you
I don't stare at the pictures we took

I don't daydream about what could have been
I don't even remember that look...

That look you gave me when
you first saw me

the same look you gave me
when you said goodbye

The look you always gave me
when I wasn't even looking

The look I always loved..

I forgot it.

I'm taking my life. to the pawnshop on a dusty summer-fall morning
     Because at this point I'm not sure what to use it for anymore
               And they'll give me cash for trash
   Like a mountain of crushed cans in exchange for a dream money can buy in a clear plastic baggie

What if someone was out there?
Someone to wipe your tears
Someone to teach you new meaning of "I'm okay"
Someone to show you what happiness was
What if someone was out there?
Would you then come off that ledge?

Still stuck in this hole
I'm starting to like it down here