Thank you.

Thank you for bringing out the person in me in which I do not want to be
For letting me see that dark side of me that was hidden from my attention
Because of you I can now sit with that version of myself that I do NOT wish to be
I can now recognize these characteristics in me and dismiss them out of my being

Thank you for showing me that I, at times, can be totally out of touch with reality
My daydreaming and fantastical illusions inhibited me from seeing the truth
That you and I were like oil and water
If mixed hard enough we would mix together and at first glance look to be as one
But in the end we were always separate, always a short distance away

Thank you

I am darkness I am light, I am chaos I am might, lies and truth unite,
Fear and bravery, envy with hatred and love finally combined,
I am the difference between illusions and dreams, nothing as it seems,
Nightmares and mirrages, a realm of infinity and finite by its means,
I am fusion and fission, with one simple yet very complex misssion,
Energy and indolence, a wall, another fence, questions upon answers
If small lies give rise to grand falsities, what is the truth gonna bring ?
A place where you should be able to feel reality and fantasy's sting,
Apathy and concern unite, come closer I don't really bite, trust me,
My teeth look sharp, yet they are blunt, you can rant or stay calm,
I am a living death wandering yet standing still, does it make you ill?
Generosity and greed are both present while they are missing, still!
Control the lies of your uncontrollable tounge, listen to the silence,
Could we possibly agree that this unanimity relies in total dissension?
I am the discouragement for your precious, little yet pure intentions,
Aimlessness for hope of a future unexplored yet near enough to grasp
I am the rue in pride, a lamp without light, elusive but not transient,
A harmonic ramgage, riots over the horizon in undefined dark light,
I am malevolent and benevolent, bent yet straight, right behind you,
What am I ?

~ Umi

They play tricks on your mind
But you're seeing it
So is it really an illusion

That's the trick
It keeps changing your mind
To make you wonder what you're really seeing

you think you're seeing something
You think its there
But is it really

You believe what you  see
The trick is your mind
You believe what you see and what they say

You are composed of desperate lies
From your head all the way down to your feet
Your whole existence depends upon
A delicate web of deceit

Dishonesty is clearly reflected
In the blue oceans of your eyes
You are so deep in denial you
Won't accept that you wear a disguise

You put a mask on your face each day
To cover up your many flaws
You are an actor playing a part
You crave the attention and applause

The world is your comfortable stage
Your story nothing more than a show
I wonder if there is a single
Piece of you I actually know

On your skin you paint a facade
To again coat the aching scars
Hollow promises are falling down
Fading faster than shooting stars

You protect your heart with empty lines
And apologies you wish you meant
Can't you see that I need more from you
Than the excuses you invent?

I deserve the real you not the
Careful persona you fabricate
I want to see what rests beneath
The image you work so hard to create

Manipulating our arguments
You try to distract me with anger
Hoping I won't notice the fact
I am staring at a stranger

You embody the character
Those closest to you think you are
Yes you are well meaning but
You have taken this drama too far

In relationships you cheat
A girl gentle and admired
Out of her forgiveness and hope
That your old ways will soon be retired

You are a child playing pretend
A boy wearing a grown mans shoes
Dress up is the game I hate
Yet still it is the option you choose

I don't understand why you would
Rather have admiration than trust
Your true colors are revealed and then
That admiration turns to disgust

I don't want to hear your honeyed words
Unless you mean them from your heart
Your actions don't reflect what you say
The conflict is tearing me apart

Once again you tell me you will change
As you have sworn a million times
But I'm tired of trying to
Decipher your threadbare pantomimes

I was never good at charades
You probably already knew that
You take advantage of the way
Im unsure of who Im looking at

You are Dr. Jekyl, Mr. Hyde
My best friend and worst enemy
An angel until the demon rises
You transform right in front of me

A natural shape-shifter
You effortlessly deceive
You cowardly hide under the
Cloak of false expectations you weave

I can't figure out your motives
I don't think I ever will
Maybe toying with emotions
For some reason gives you a thrill

I'm misled by flattery
Compliments and ascensions
I'm naively distracted by your charms
Struggling to see your true intentions

Now I know you are a fraud
Crying crocodile tears
Your forgery becomes apparent
More and more as the end nears

Betrayal courses through your veins
Secrets drip out of every pore
I don't even believe in your love
Or the feelings we share anymore

My patience is wearing thin
Your unreal mirage falls apart
I wish you would let me see past
The illusions and into your heart

He stood on the hill with his cap turned backwards,
And it made no logic at all
Since the sun was hitting his eyes, but he didn't seem to care
For the orange line, over his face

And yet, when I approached closer
He seemed further away, and the galaxy was spreading across his face
It looked like a magnificent burn
Which he got
From dreaming
Too much

The sun turned black and the boy was no more.
Now, the only thing I could see in front of me was a shade...
Not like I could describe it, since it was a shade of fear seen from my eyes.
I wasn't looking with my eyes, yet with my soul alone.

A discovery far more greater than what I've known my whole life.

So I, naturally, search for Hope and Dreams
My Ideals, too
Yet
I only found Illusions
Lying broken on the crimson floor
As the Life and Thought beat it up

But then a darkness far greater than all of the others came.
Really, it can't be seen with your eyes, so you need to look with your soul.
Blacker than the venta black.
Just a deathly black.

It was Him, for sure. Not Him as the God, but the one who takes your hand at the end of your suffering.
And so, Illusion's hand was taken
While Life and Thoughts spit on the ground and disappeared,

Death embraced me and him.

It was far more comfortable than I'd thought it would be;
An indisputable peace found only within your heart.
It's an irony, but it shine so bright
With it's darkness
That we both knew we were finally safe.

And the boy?
Oh, well he sat on the ground.
Took a sip of time
Like he always does, from time to time.

He looked at me, absorbing
All of my questions
Changing his form to however I
Had imagined him at that moment

And just when I thought I had caught up with him, he'd transform yet again.

Then it hit me.
He was Illusions himself;
And just when I wanted to
Embrace him and make him confirm,

Just like Hopes, Dreams, and
All of my Ideals...

He broke at that moment.

And all I'm left with
Is this blinding darkness
Sparkling with it's sweet venom;

I realise life is more and less that I had ever guessed.

Illusions are not to be trusted.

Because Illusions always break.

Come one,

come all

and

join me

for a night of

unadulterated madness.
--------------------------------------------------------­-------------------------------------
“I see a dreadful fright in your future.”

–Madame Tarot
-----------------------------------------------------------­----------------------------------
Poor, dizzy fools.

Watch how they

go round and round

until their eyes pop

from their sockets,

until they *****

pink streaks of cotton candy

onto the sweet

horses with golden hooves

and blazing eyes.

–Cursed Carousel
--------------------------------------------------------­-------------------------------------
My lovely Lady Tightrope

I do believe that skirt is

far too short and

that leotard far too snug.



When you said you wished

to put on a show for us,

I did not realize this is

what you had implied.

–Getting Freaky
----------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------
They say these grounds are haunted

by little girls in feathered bonnets

and little boys in blue trousers.


And, if you listen carefully,

mingled in with the pervasive

notes of carnival music

are the morbid wails of these children–

children whose balloons have burst,

and whose ice cream cones have been dropped.
--------------------------------------------------------­-------------------------------------
“But Mr. Clown, mama says I’m not supposed to take candy from strangers.”
-----------------------------------------------------­----------------------------------------
How ironic that the ringmaster

is missing his own ring finger.

–She purred like a kitty but knew how to pounce
----------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------
“Why, what terribly big teeth you have.”

“The better to eat you with, my dear.”
----------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------
I present to you

The Great Dr. Whim.



Watch how he saws his

assistant in half.



Relish in the piercing

serenade of her screams,

and how they ricochet off the

tapestried walls.



Grin wildly as her blood–

thick with candy floss

and other disgustingly sweet

delicacies–

drips down into the

cracks of the floorboards,

slowly inching its way

towards the audience.

–Magician’s Corner
----------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------
See there?


Hidden among the

silhouette of the trees

is a man with

blistered lips and

charred teeth.


If you look carefully,

from a distance,

you will notice

a gray fog curling above the

pines–

it is the smoke billowing from his

nostrils,

threatening to wrap

its angry hands

around any guest

who dare venture too far

from the carnival grounds.

–Fire Eater
-----------------------------------------------------------­----------------------------------
More often than not

his daggers do not hit the target,

but instead find themselves

embedded in

the backs of our

lovely attendees.

–Knife Thrower
---------------------------------------------------------­------------------------------------
And to end the evening,

we have something spectacular

in store for you–

our human cannonball.


He is to fly,

but to never come down,

cut from his tether

to this earth

like a balloon that has been cut

from its string.


And at the most climactic moment

of his soaring escapade,

his flesh is to ignite,

leaving for his viewers

something resembling a firework show,

as a mesh of burning cartilage and

scorched bone set the night

sky ablaze with horror.
---------------------------------------------------------­------------------------------------
Oh?


You say you are afraid?


But I am simply fulfilling

the promise I made to you

upon your initial arrival–

it was madness I promised,

and it is madness you have received.