You will never be that person I go to with my deepest insecurities,
nor with the lies, doubts, and harbored pains, that I hold captive inside.
You just don't feel that close
You will never the one to pick me up, you are too busy propping up your own self.
No need for both of us to fall
Someday, someone will.
You will never be the one I run to when the world is too much,
This wall you have is to high for me to climb, and too thick to get through.
I feel like I will never truly know "you".
Despite knowing all this, a patience and confidence resides,
knowing that someday I will meet someone I can walk straight to,
someone meant for me and I for him.
Until we meet, I await, I am on the sidelines, watching from a distance.

Light me up with a match but first poor the gasoline in my lungs,
So that I can inhale the acidic liquid from your mouth when we go to touch tips with our tongues ;

Burning holes through my heart as you tear this love apart.

THE HEART BECOMES NUMB OVER THE EXAGGERATED AND THE VIOLENT.
I FEED THE MALADY AND DIG MYSELF A SELF LOATHING PIT FOR NOT ONLY MY CORPES BUT THE PEOPLE I UNWILLINGLY DAMAGED.
THE CRACKS IN MY MIND ARE CLAWED WITH FEAR AND THE AGNST PACES AND PACES.
EVERYTHING THAT EXISTS FOR INFINITE MILES WITH IN ONE IS DEAD, EVERY INCH OF LIFE IS UNFAMILIAR.
I POUR OUT WHAT LIFE I HAD INTO MY PETITE PLANTS AND RESONATE THE GREENS IN MY BITTER CHEST THAT CANT CLINCH ANY BREATH OF RURAL STILLNESS THAT HELPS ME NOT SPILL MY ORGANS ONTO MY FLOOR.
THIS OVER EXHAUSTING BETRAYAL OF MYSELF AND THE RIVALRY AGAINST MY MIND CANT TAKE REST FOR AS LONG AS THE ROOTS IN THE SOIL ARE TANGLED AND NOT BREATHING I AM NOT WILLING TO SHARE ANY COMFORT.
THE LIFE THAT WAS ONCE IN FIELDS OF MIDDLE AMERICA ARE GONE AND I MISSED SO MUCH JOY I SOAK IN THE BITTER TAKE ON THE 2016 WINTER.

Hurt people hurt people ...

The realization of it is the brutal part.

Letting go is the hardest part ....

To know when ?

Is the answer

Your heart still dwells on.

Some people are blinded by lies, but most people refused to see the truth.

It ***** being me you know? Being sprung doing everything humanly possible to put a smile on your face looking at my phone every 5 seconds thinking you finally responded but never have? Waiting and waiting five minutes then ten twenty an hour.. you try not to think for the worst but when it keeps happening you just get nervous.. your heart starts to act up.. and your doubt takes control of this train going deep into a wild rollercoaster.. you try to past the time but you still check if she finally responded but still nothing back.. you see that she finally sees the message but never replies.. waiting.. give minitues.. ten.. twenty.. and hour.. nothing.. and you sink deep into a depression. Looking waiting for a a miracle to happen but never comes. And now you lay down on your soaked pillow just barely holding on having that little spark of hope but .. as the night goes by.. so does your belief.