Hindi kita gusto sa una nating pagkikita,
Ngunit, muli tayong pinagtagpo, at ito'y umusbong na.
"Ayoko, ayoko nito."
"Mahirap, mahirap ito."
Mga salitang nabanggit ko,
habang ako'y nakatitig sayo.

Simula noong araw na iyon,
nagtanong- tanong na ako, tungkol sayo.
Gusto kong malaman ang pangalan mo,
Gusto kong malaman ang mga hilig mo,
Gusto ko lang makaalam ng kahit ano, tungkol sayo.

Nabalitaan kong sikat ka raw,
Talaga ba? Marami raw nagkakagusto sayo?
Edi mas bumaba ang tsansa ko, upang mahalin mo?
Masakit mang isipin, pero ito ang totoo,
Masakit mang isipin, pero hindi ako ang mahal mo.

Nagdaan ang ilang araw,
Natuklasan ko,
Paasaa ka, pafall ka,
Pero mahal parin kita.
Oo crush lang kita,
Pero gustong gusto kita, higit pa sa kanila.

Isang araw nabalitaan ko,
Balitang dumurog sa puso ko.
May ka-M.U ka raw,
may nililigawan ka raw,
at ako namang si t*nga,
Hindi naniwala sa kanila
Mas pinili ko pang umasa,
Sa taong wala naman akong pagasa.

Pero nung makita ko,
Nung makita nang dalawang mata ko, yung paghaharutan niyo,
Napaisip ako, "Bakit ganito kayo?"
Nasobrahan ba yung pagka- bulag ko para sayo?
Nasobrahan na ba yung pagmamahal ko para sayo?
Upang ako'y masaktan nang ganito?

Pinilit kong ihinto ang pagmamahal ko sayo,
Ngunit mas lalo lang kitang ginugusto.
Hindi ko alam kung paano ako makakaalis sa sitwasyong ito,
Ang alam ko lang, sobrang nasaktan ako.

Ang sakit na iyon ang nagturo sa akin,
kung paano kumalas,
Kumalas sa relasyong ako lang ang lumandas.
"Ayoko na, ang sakit sakit na."
Ngayon, pinapakawalan na kita.
Susuportahan kita kung saan ka sasaya,
At yun ay sa piling niya.

Bumitaw ako, ngunit hindi ibig- sabihin non,
ayoko na sayo,
Gusto kita, tandaan mo yan,
Ngunit hindi ko yata kayang lumban,
Sa pagmamahalang, ako lang ang nakakaalam.

Lumipas ang ilang buwan,
Sinabi mo mahal mo ako,
Sabi mo, ako lang ang yong gusto,
Ano 'to lokohan?
Pagkatapos mo akong iwan, ngayon ako'y babalikan?
Oo mahal kita.
Mahal kita noon,
Pero binaliwala mo iyon.

Bakit ngayon pa?
Bakit ngayon pang ako'y sumuko na?
Bakit ngayon pang ako'y nasaktan na?
Bakit ngayon pang ako'y masaya na... SA PILING NG IBA?

Broken heart
Means a brand new start
But this heart is not wanting to restart

I'm trying so hard to mend
I'm trying not to allow a bend
I'm trying to start a new trend
The trend of you and me

Now I lay alone
Like a dog with no bone
Like a trail but no home
I am lost with out you to call as my own

I wish you could see
The you and the me
That I always wanted there to be
But you have always wanted to be free of me

I guess the last line may not be true
That may not really be you
But if it's not true
Than how come I'm so blue?

After a desperate night and thoughtful day I decided to re-write several facts about my crush!

First of all, chill. I know my crush won't see this because of lack signal or lack of love idk. Both reasons are acceptable.

Here, several unworthy facts about my crush that you ****** hoomans gave no **** about:
1. He is taller than me. Like 15-20 cm taller. I'm not talking about gigantic monster and won't date one, but if I have to date one it's okay lol. I have friend that tall like Eiffel tower and big as **** and tbh I'm afraid of him. I'm sorry bro you remind me of troll even though you're fine. Ehe.
I agree that tall guys are hot, but with my body like smurf and boy like troll can't even imagine what our future be like if we were together. So, bye bye Eiffel tower.
Anyway I'm 155cm so he'll be like 170-175 cm.
And I just realized that he is tall too ***.

2. He is deadass Einstein with attitude like Hannah Baker. He is-in fact-weirdest mothafaka I've ever met. One day he'll be like 'oh I'll invent flying shoes' and one day he'll be like 'do you guys see my motivation to live?'.

3. He is innocent. Nuff said.

3.5. His phone is the most private phone I've ever seen. One day I was too curious to know what's​ hidden in his phone and deadass found nothing. I think it's normal for boy to have porns or naked women etc and expected to found at least one and ya I found nothing.
((Found picture of me though))

3.51. His browser history is clean.

4. He loves anime tittiez.

5. We love to spoil each other

6. I ONCE ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED HIS ***-*** **** IT. Not disappointed TEEHEE.

7. Same thing happened to me. He accidentally touched my boo-boo. He didn't recognize tho. But there I was standing still, stiff, wanted to die.

8. He is afraid of God. Sins ain't myth, sins are real.

9. He didn't know Lana del Rey.
D I S S A P O I N T E D.
Soon boi, I'll let you go deep in my world and meet my astral mama.

10. He isn't a fan of Paramore. Super disappointed :).

11. He lives far away from me.

Last,

12. He is one of the finest art God ever made and I love him to death.

Boi, i think i have to end this unworthy facts about you.
I'm afraid.



to cry.






I thought after I wrote this I'll be laughing or smiling etc.
But.....




e//
In the end,
I love you.

You'll find someone better than me smh.
Don't choose me.
Ehehegeheheheheheh.
I've got several more reasons to love you and some of it
Hurts me
So this is the end.
You'll always be my number one boy'friend.

I stare at you, every now, and then,
but my feelings for you remained unspoken.
I wish, I could just tell you what I think of you,
Cause if you only knew, and it's okay with you, I'll run to you.

I screenshot every picture of you,
look at my gallery, It's full because of you.
I didn't liked you since we met,
It's just.. like.. one day, when I saw you, It felt like magnet.

Ever since that day,
I'm always following your foot way,
I wanna know, who's with you,
I wanna know what you do,
I just wanna know more about you,
In every way, I can do.

Months, years, Decades, passed,
I still like you, I still love you,
You still like her, You still love her.
It hurts, it hurts, because I know, you won't love me, the way I do.
It hurts, to be bypassed by you.

I loved you for 10 years.
I know it's not your problem anymore.
But please help me,
If there's really no chance, tell me.
Cause I'm tired, I'm tired of getting ignored.
I think I can't do these things anymore.

I need to stop my feelings for you,
It will hurt more, if I'll continue.
Maybe you're not really my forever,
perhaps, you're the epitome of game over.

I fear that winter break won't be the only cold front that I face
The holidays will roll around and you will still need more space
I fear that it's not what you say, but what you don't
That is truly telling.

I look at your face. It's not the same
There's a certain kind of love that's missing
What do you do when your one best friend is the one person you can't talk to?
Jesus! All you ever say is, "I'm sorry..." & "Time helps"
And my favorite, "We'll still be great friends, Ashby"

You're such a terrible friend
Your advice is lacking any empathy
And your care is nonexistant.
If we don't have love
And we don't have friendship
What do we have left?
I'm terrified to ask such a question.

I've been doing my part fine
I've been staying in the lines
That go against every fiber of my being
I don't know what to think anymore
Except that you want nothing more
From me.

You don't want us
You don't want we
You just want you...
And me.

I just want answers to questions I've already asked
Shaken off and given little thought
You say you just want what's best
For me
But what I really think
Is that you are a coward.
You're too afraid to be the ******* in this relationship.
But guess what?
You already are.

When that was then
When words spring forth pain
And the heart left my pen
Alone, just me in the rain
Never knew life could be these
Never thought I will be like this
For my brain to leave me by
For my friends to tell me bye
Just the blind seeing in his darkness
Just the deaf listening to sweet melody
Now the siblings I never wanted
Pain, fear, loneliness now painted
For I choose not a faction
Believing life as an option

maybe if I stay in this bed I'll be able to wilt like the flowers on my nightstand

my petals will fall off the edge of the blanket, smooth and graceful on the bedroom floor

maybe I'll waste away into the covers,

diving into duvets and curling my toes into the edge of the covers

i just really wanna die

and I want it to be in this bed so it can be pushed down the river like a casket

holding my temperance and my sin in the palm of my hands

as the water drags me and the pillows deep under

deep

deep

under

it's quiet, there

Everyone says you don't deserve me,
That ill find someone new,
But how can i look for that person,
When I can't get over you?

I guess friends are right when they tell me,
Youre the one who is wrong,
but time has passed so quickly,
and i had wanted this for so long.

I know i should be done with this,
A week has been spent in tears,
and if you saw me miserable,
Youd think we were together for years.

Goodbye is a word i have always hated,
It hurts just like it did before,
And every time i hear it spoken,
It makes me miss you more.