I will keep trying
Until you shoot me down enough times
To bleed out all the hope I have left

Every time I hear of you--
I wonder what went wrong
that you would choose
another over me.

The cogwheels of my brain
would constantly rewind
to the very day we meet;
the nerves I had prior
and the brief good memories.

This bitter nostalgia
reminded me of
my foolish sense of hope
that I was the special one
among many others--

Only when I was told
that I was rejected
did I realise...
I was only a pitiful jester;
dancing and joking
for your fancy
on that very day.

I could not help thinking,
being rejected on a Christmas eve
is a terrible Christmas present,
and also the only Christmas present I had.

They say that it was not His will--
But they also did not know...
Perhaps it was His will
that I spend the dead morning of Christmas
soaking my pillow in tears
while nursing a overactive mind.

And yes, I saw you again on New Years Eve--
from afar, where everyone was celebrating
of their successful association with you
with delirious hopefulness and motivation...
Meanwhile, I was made to
welcome the New Year all alone
with tears in memory of your rejection.

Through and through my mother is anorexic
You would be too if your environment was toxic
I can’t help but be sad when I come home late at night
And she’s asleep on the couch with tear stains from a fight
I bring back food from the restaurant I work at
She says she can’t have it because she’s too fat
Eventually she caves and I get her to eat
Fish, broccoli, fries, and red meat
She tells me it’s too late at night to eat snacks
Although she’s a normal weight her bones still sound like they crack
It’s now 1 am and I go to turn off the tv
She quickly wakes up and stairs blankly right at me
“Leave it. And turn the heat on”
She says to me, fighting a yawn
Before I leave I notice the wrappers
A caloric binge had clearly trapped her
And tomorrow I’m sure the cycle will repeat
As the image of my mother withers and retreats

I tried to assemble
The pieces of Osiris
But all the stars aligned so
That i should fail again

I tried to revive the
Body of Lazarus
but the tomb had swallowed
The words of the messiah.

Long rang the bell
My soul had come to bitter end
Desperate chants
blood does glimmer on their hands
Hammers dance on nails
They urge the dead to stay contained
Slayer eats the slain
Til the end of time til last of days

I struggle to awaken
I'm morally brain dead
But all the ****** effort
sticks me to the ground

The burden of Atlas
Lays on my two shoulders
if I drop my sky
will anyone notice

Long live the king
The reaper hand in hand with me
choir commence to sing
heaven weeps for apathy
Hades take away
All the strife and all the pain
Pie Jesu Domine
dona eis requiem.

As I turn my head and look,
beyond the thin white curtain of the day,
The sun shines fair, but the road i took,
Through days it goes, *noir du jais.

And the hands got lost in waves by night,
The dawn revealed they could've prayed,
Another glance, that dreadful sight,
A glimpse of life, noir du jais.

Breath of sea salt the Wind will spread,
And his songs sing, What I dare not say,
Through clouds and cold, deep blue and dead,
lies lost hope, noir du jais.

And the leaves get blown beyond return,
The wind still hums the tune death plays,
On this grave still fire burns,
Undying flame, noir du jais.

I am a warrior
Bold and brave
Master of an art of blade
I am a warrior

My armor is breaking
It hurts...I can't see
How?! It...It can't be?!
My armor is breaking.

Why it feels so hot?
Am...Am I loosing my sight?!
Why?! Why isn't there any light?!
Why it feels so hot?

I'm falling...
I can't see a **** thing...
I can't feel anything...
I'm failing...

You were once mine.
You were a dream
then a reality,
now just a memory.
I accept it,
even it's hard to do,
but I have to let you go,
to let you see the world
without me,
to let me find
the missing piece of this heart,
that I thought I found in you