Arduino

Arduino Apr 2020

Untitled

My smiles are fake and sad.

Just look at the crease between the putrid corners of my lips.

Chapped and corroded.

Don't kiss me. I might infect you...

#lonely #sad #surrender #poison #pain

Arduino Apr 2020

The Gift

If there truly is a balance, then for all the love we put out, there must be an equal amount of hate.
Love and hate can never truly conquer each other, so we're forced to balance on the middle of a teeter totter that only gets faster and thinner as time takes its own separate toll on the body.
I've been assured that life is a gift, but what is a gift to someone who doesn't like to receive but would rather give..?
And quite frankly, I'd rather give up.

#balance #love #hate #life

Arduino Dec 2019

Untitled

I feel awkward in my own bed. This square no longer feels like home. It no longer belongs to me. I don't know how to describe the feeling. I just feel empty, floating within a small space. I'm floating, within nothing. I'd like to die.

Arduino Oct 2019

First Thoughts of the Day

Have you ever woken up and felt like you just don't belong
So you lie there for an hour trying to convince yourself to stay strong
And all a long
You've had a song
Stuck in your mind and it's uncanny
How it reminds you of that one time when you thought that you were happy?

I think it's more bitter than sweet now
This food for thought is slightly rotten
Altered memories but never quite forgotten

I never did get over it
I never really let go
It's hard when you beat yourself up over things you can't control
Then whip yourself for every mistake and **** up you've ever made

For everything that you loved

And then destroyed

And then complained

Like you didn't help create a connection from and edge on to a ridge
And then got so scared that you just burned another bridge?
While you were standing in the middle, high up on your cloud
Your dreams are broken and you're falling to the ground
Let's hear the sound
Then watch a billion butterflies
Drag my body from my feet and take my corpse in to the sky

#sad #depression #confusion #loser #anxiety

Arduino Aug 2019

A stupid "poem"

Your tears of a golden hue roll as tumble weeds across a pasture

Sweat beads travel through a highway from your chest towards your hips

Arms raised to the sky waiting for some kind of rapture

The rain drops move the ponds edge to match the quiver in your lips

Even small shakes are formed at the core

Bored and alone, scorned off your throne might be the case

Or you might just stare at the abyss

Within infinite possibilities, where is my place?

Where can you trace the third eye beginning to paint its own cyst

Wandering through a series of articulate hallways

Finger paintings and rough sketches define this maze

A quill dipped in blood rewrites the phrase

To be or not to be

To me its honestly just another phase

A life long transition towards death

#confused #lost #death #meaningless #sad

Arduino Jun 2019

Existential

If there is a god, then *******
If this is a simulation, then really?
Aliens just littering and leaving behind their sentient trash
This was all a mistake
Or a cruel joke
Or an unfortunate turn of events
I don't care
Just turn it off.

#life #existence #reality #confused

Arduino Jun 2019

Untitled

I feel so alone
Just my thoughts and I.

I hate them,
Though they must love me.
They follow me everywhere I go
They are the base of my dreams
They are my breakfast, lunch and dinner
I'm overweight with thoughts
But I have a problem
As full as I get, I never seem to stop being hungry
Always this feeling of an empty void
A swirling black hole that will never be satisfied
No matter how much I put in to it
I will forever be obese

Appetite for Self Destruction

I'm nauseous

#sad #alone #depressed #lonely #discontent #lost