My heart beats fast
At the thought of it all.
The simple image
that I just might have a chance
to fall
(for you...).
That I might have the option
to tak the plunge
Into the deep..
But I can't sleep
There's too much tension
so much
I do not know...
Will my plunge end
with a painful blow
when I land
Or with some beautiful
and invigorating grace?
Will I have to save face
for everyone's sake?
Or will I ever land at all?
Will I be forever suspended in freefall?

If I let go
And fall
I pray that you
willl calm
my rushing heart
With your warm arms.
After all this time apart
Is there enough still to plunge into?

As the Mohawks straddle the goal line
We hold our breaths.
We need a win under our belts,
And this is the most important game of all.
I feel the tension in my stomach,
Now in my hand,
As you take it into yours.
Normally I would be thinking of you
But we are so focused on this touchdown
"Hike!" Shouts number 7, and there it goes.
Caught by 22.
Almost intercepted,
But not quite.
We go wild.
Hearts pounding
Mohawk fans cheering
We won.
You grab me in a huge embrace and
I can't breathe
But its not because you're holding me too tightly.
Together.
Without thought:
Thought of consequence
Thought of the future
Thought of pain
Thought of who is watching,
You kiss me right there and then
And even though your eyes are closed
I still see the blue in my mind from moments before,
Letting me know that it is okay to dive in.
As the cheering roar dies out
I see that blue again
Confused and happy
Or is that me?
On this homecoming night
We won
And I'm not talking about the team.

Estrogen swimming,
Testosterone pumping,
Basically just another excuse for teens to drink alcohol and smoke ****.
But ****, if you get laid… props.

i slipped the silk fabric over the curve of my hip and the scarred flesh of my thigh in a dressing room with three of my friends behind me, ******* in the fat of my stomach. they say black is supposed to be slimming but it only made me bloated; maybe the mirror was a liar (i know it didn't lie). an elephant with too-thick eyeliner and a too-thick body stared back at me and i bit through the skin of my lip till it bled and i wanted to live on some other planet where elephants were appreciated.

"that's the best one you've tried on yet," someone said, but i couldn't hear them over the red-eyed demon within me which whispered of shoving ******* down the trachea, messy but quick, everything gone in an instant. if this was my best one, i was doomed because my eyes were glazed over with the misunderstanding that beauty would never apply to me.

"i'm just gonna go- go to the restroom-" and the red eyed thing inside me cracks its whip, takes over the nerves in my brain, makes my legs sprint to the toilets and it's over, it's done, the food gone among stomach acid, falling hair, and teeth erosion.

i can only imagine what the restaurant worker who was forced to clean rainbow-coloured ***** in the toilet thought.

Is God around us
Is he external
Can he feel for me when he is outside of me?
That answers it.
No He is not around us?
No He is not an outsider
He is within us.
Deep inside us
One with us.

Because when we close our eyes
And shut out the world
When we shut out the din
And hear that inner voice
It is HIM
It is home coming.