I once saw a deer passing by,  
its eyes intriguing and delicate —  
he was walking unhurriedly while the lights  
behind him swerved and danced pokily.  
While I gathered my hands to touch him,  
he turned around and ran away.

I once saw a shadow passing by,  
its being brought chills to my bones —  
he was walking behind me, unhurried,  
while there was no light dancing around us.  
Even the winds stopped breathing;  
until I remembered, he was me.

I once saw a man passing by,  
his presence gave me comfort and light.  
He was running away —  
I asked him, “Where are you going?”  
He answered, “To the future.”  
I smiled and turned to him, “Let's go.”  
He held my hands, and we both ran together.

I once saw a mirror echoing back my voice,  
its existence drove my mind and broke  
into tiny pieces — while I went bewildered and  
did not know what to do, he laughed and shattered  
into fragile broken pieces.  
He cried out, and I ran away.

I saw the deer passing by,  
its eyes gentle and noble —  
he stepped and stepped,  
until he was facing me.  
Behind him were the lights that stopped dancing,  
and the wind hustled a great bone-chilling harsh cold.  
“You can remember now?”

He asked, “Yes,”  
I told him and ran away  
to the future. I came, and all the shadows and mirrors broke and moaned in great pain.

I remember him now.

It’s that time of a breakup.
Where you start to feel regret,
You get sick, you can’t sleep and no amount of ***** and drugs can get you out of being stuck.

Stuck, lost, and afraid.
What if’s and what won’ts.
To take another leap or move on. Even after all that’s happened.
How is one suppose to forget that.
There are so many thoughts going through my mind tonight/morning, it’s currently 4:35am.
If we could turn back time, I’d put my foot down harder.
If we could turn back time, I’d never would’ve broke again.
If we could turn back time, I’d never have swiped right.
Sometimes I wonder if you ever loved me.
Knowing that you can push my buttons with every lie you make, telling me things of my life that never even came to pass.
It’s okay though because I see it now.

Hate, anger, and depression all seeping back in one step at a time and truth is. It’s getting me through this stage of want and need for you.
To think I gave you so many chances, to fix yourself, to be truly consistent with your changes, and trying to listen to your thoughts even though it would lead to arguments.

I will never get the chance to tell you how wrong you were for me.

I will never get the chance to tell you how happy you did make me when we weren’t being dumb.

I will never get the chance to say that I love you with everything I still have. The worst part about all this..
I could never go back to you.


You made me hurt and you keep making me hurt.
You tell me you don’t want me to hate you yet you say the most rambunctious things about my one person.
Lots of talk about change yet, this would be out biggest obstacle and you couldn’t handle it.

I just hope the next girl who is in favor doesn’t feel what I feel. Doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare. Doesn’t make you think badly about yourself.
One who makes you feel so ******* important, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be her.

A heart so full had emptied out.
It gave everything it could for you.
You wouldn't meet at the halfway route.
Honestly, it was all you had to do.

This everlasting torture.
The continuous push and pull.
It's such a beautiful horror,
with butterflies, a handful.