I'm Hurt,
I'm Scared,
I'm Sad,
But most of all,
I'm Tired.

I'm Tired of not being good enough,
tired of doing everything wrong,
tired of listening to everyone fighting,
tired of being your puppet,
just tired.

And the funny thing is,
you don't even see it,
and you excuse?
your tired too.

But the meaning is very different,
while you catch up on hours of sleep,
I sink deeper into my own thoughts,
my own misery.

But if you knew,
what I was truly tired of,
you'd say its my own fault,
and tell me I'm fine.

Cafeteria
Slip
Trip
Crash
Click
All over the internet
*******

Do you ever come across that feeling of melancholy?
When you’re going too fast on that midnight trolley
Your head starts spinning in unfamiliar directions
While you’re left there, looking for defections

Do you ever feel like you aren't enough?
Everyone thinks it’s all a big bluff
But deep down inside you know it’s true
The whole world around you starts to turn blue

Do you ever feel that obligation?
When in school you want certification
Gaining the card that classifies you as
That one guy who is cooler than jazz

Do you ever feel pressured to fall?
Into a love in which you can’t call
A pointless relation clouds your mind
Pushing you farther from what you might find

Do you ever feel like you try too hard?
To fit into a jigsaw, but instead bombard
Looking for a clique that suits you best
Coming to feel like you’re better than the rest

Do you ever feel like you can’t be found?
Lost inside your own impound
Deceived by self-inflicting thought
You continue to feel even more distraught

Do you ever just want to run away?
Leave behind your past and go astray
Forget the life you lived at home
And elsewhere discover a new throne

Do you ever feel like life is a game?
A game in which you can’t come to claim
The honorable title as the winner
Settling down for the same old dinner

Do you ever wonder if you’re treated unfair?
You live thinking that you cannot bear
The dreadful thought of being singled out
Making you want to scream and shout

Do you ever feel like nobody understands?
Like you’re the only one stuck within the strands
Trapped inside an ignorant state of mind
Only to come all this way and find…
That you were wrong all along
It was all just a mixed up song
These steps you take throughout high school
Turn you into some kind of rotten fool

One day you will come to see
That it was all part of the journey
You’ll take it in and walk down your path
Knowing that the worst of the wrath—
Is over…

-David Rombouts-

Sittin’ on the corner of 5th and Life
The place where little children sat and made their dreams
Night stretches on past a horizon of endless street lamps
While whispers of time gone by slink across the flesh on stale city winds
And in blind foresight the stars dim and fade
Fade to black and black on white
Sitting in the place where hopes met dreams
When lovers smiled and kissed while the days were still the days
But those days are gone, long gone
While a sigh may just be your soul escaping
My dreams still breath life into this world of everdying sighs
And the dreams are all we’ve got as the lights sink and the cold midnight calm creeps up your neck
Stale sweat and rusted cans dust the forgotten streets
Their eyes focus on the gray in-betweens and thoughts slow down like stagnant honey dripping from yesterday’s wounds
The taste of gunmetal and filterless cigarettes play on taste buds without a tongue
And now I lay me down to sleep and in these dreams my faith I keep
Of hopes and dreams and days long gone
Of better times and happier hours when we were
Sittin’ on the corner of 5th and Life

They say losing a loved one is the worst thing you could go through.
Suicide.
******.
Heartbreak.
Divorce.
Miscarriage.
The whole nine yards
But no one ever really mentions reputation.
For me reputation has engulfed my whole life.
Caring so much about
What other people think.
Image.
Late nights
Wondering whats wrong with you.
Wondering why
you cant look like her.
And wondering why boys
steer clear of you like a virus.
For me
I contributed all of this uncertainty
to one event in my life.
And for some reason i think if i got the opportunity
To go back in time,
I would.
Maybe.
And teenagers, especially girls
Crave affection.
You have no idea what a girl would do
To feel something
Even for just a minute.
People call us names for looking for affection.
****.
*****.
Thirsty.
But how were we supposed to know
That this so called
"Affection"
Wasnt real?
How were we supposed to know
That we would get
Played
And used?
Yet we do it more than once
In hopes that
Someone.
Will surprise us.
Dont get me wrong,
My life isnt terrible
None of those things i mentioned before
Have ever happened to me,
But reputation has.

When I was younger,
I thought that my love life as a teenager would be fleeting.

I imagined it to be like the wind;
Something that could be felt,
but not seen.
And something that never stayed for too long.

I thought that I would date
Boys with tattoos and piercings
Boys in bands
Boys with skateboards
Boys who smoked
Boys who drank
Boys who partied

Boys who would probably treat me like ****
but it wouldn't matter because they would make me feel alive.

I never thought that my teenage love would be something like this;
Something real
Something permanent
Something deep
Something personal
Something attached
Something loving
Something scary

I never wanted to put myself in a situation in which I could get hurt.
But I did anyway.

When I met him
I decided that it was worth it
I decided that he was all I wanted
I decided that it would be useless to waste time with someone else
I decided that he was my person
I decided that I could trust him
I decided that I should go against all I wanted in a teenage relationship
Because being with him was worth any pain that it caused me.

I decided that he was mine and I was his.
Forever.

And I realized that I didn't want anything else.