I was born begging for God’s mercy,
fear and love for all that’s holy,
each day began praising Thee,
each day ends praying for peace.
As I mature, fear grew into hatred,
as men in tunics force me to be wed,
a child barely grown,
victim,
yet drowned by undeserved guilt.
Women in burqas with whips and rattan,
screaming “Sin!!” to my hair, my voice, my hands,
even as my veil falls beneath my ***,
my elbows covered like wings open span.
Twenty years later, I escaped,
one step away and fully awake,
it’s time, I left my childhood behind,
desperately wishing to die human.
So God, God forgive me,
it is never You I despise,
my days are nothing without your sunrise.
But if,
if this is all that life could be,
cowering scared of unknown sins,
take my breath away as I run from this hell,
in search for your hidden gates of Heaven.
I am by no means rejecting my religion, this poem merely portrays how I felt for the community I was raised in whose ideals I rejected as soon as I became old enough to make my own decision.
