the genius
of his spirit isn't
allowed to be
confident

the muses around
his works
laugh at his
shy hubris

his connections
to the creative are
buried under a
desert

his voice
is full
of charisma
and doubt

there's something
in the way
of love

his heart is
alone in hell

in his father's
home
searching for the
way

his life is a
lightbulb
as bright as
it is empty

just like his
poetry

would you like to dance, my dear?
let us waltz above the fiery pits of hell,
oh my, it would so be very tragic if you fell.. !
I'm only teasing, what have you to fear?

you must wonder who I am
I'm the one with a heart caged behind feathers
a holy being made from perfection and pressure
time is surely ticking until I let go of your hand

you wished for me to come, did you not?
I do as you ask and dangle you above death
yet here you are, clinging to me with all your strength
do not worry, your body will have use when I leave it to rot

I’m sorry I told you the things that I said I wouldn’t  say
Because I trusted you
It took you 20 seconds alone with them to tell them
I said it out of anger
I said it out of fear
I said it because what she did was unacceptable

And so I probably shouldn’t have told you
Should have known better
Because I know that I’m your best friend
But being popular is more important
To you
And what I said was said in anger
And you thought I didn’t know
When I walked into the room and you fell silent
The only word “snake”
Or the person you were on face time to
As I drove past
I know when you’re lying
Don’t call me ignorant

Because I didn’t mention it when you
Called me fat
Or called me dramatic
Or spoke about my biggest secret in front of everyone else
Or ignored me
And stood me up
So many times because fifteen minutes is not enough warning
And I didn’t want to get embarrassed in front of my mother for having such a ****** friend
So I sat alone
In the park at night
And we all know what happens to girls alone in the park at night.

But I didn’t mention it
Because I didn’t want to blame you
She was the irresponsible one
I was just doing my job
Cheering them on
Doing the right thing
Whilst she stared and whispered
All I said was that I “expected better”
And you told her because why the **** not

She’s more popular than me
She’s the centre of attention
She can get anyone on her side
But I must have forgotten I can’t tell you that
Because you’ll tell her
And that **** *****.

i took a trip to heaven once
just to see the view
i got ****** into the tragic lie of decency
now im on a church team
trying to claw my way out of this hell

and if i die tomorrow don’t worry
i’m already used to hell

my hair catches the light
it turns golden
like midas put his hands on it
a heavenly glow sets itself behind me
as if i was sent from above
even though there isn’t one
and if there was
i’d be the one
crawling my way from below.