Soon I will start healing
At least that's what I hope
It's what I tell myself each night
To ease my grief and help me cope

What a cruel reality
The lonely ditch I've dug
No words to describe the depth of my pain
No one to listen
Nobody to hug

A terrible lie resounds in my head
"It's all your fault "
A voice declares
A barrage of negative beliefs cavort
In a twisted game of musical chairs

Broken promise of forever
Remaining shards rest in my hands
Along with the fading traces
Of our once-unified plans

Imprisoned by sweet memories
Held captive in their embrace
Try to take a step forward
But my feet are frozen in place

Never have I felt so low
Crushed by overwhelming desire
Not understanding how attraction so strong
Could suddenly with no warning expire

I yearn for happiness I had
Before blue skies turned grey
Now the closest to joy I will get
Are those moments in my mind I replay

An awful truth I must accept
Is that you are never coming back
And since you left my heart has darkened
To an ugly shade of bluish-black

I fear my tomorrows will all be the same
In this tunnel I see no light at the end
It has been a whole year since goodbye
And these wounds haven't yet begun to mend

Set my soul free from misery
And the love to which it is bound
Maybe then I will uncover peace
That so far cannot be found

Let's go,
My heart doesn't think,
It feels.
And that's ****,
So imma take it out.
I'm into bleeding,
So I'll take the opportunity and let some come out before I close the hole.
You say it's impossible to survive?
I was never into living anyways.
It *****.

It feels like it just happened yesterday you see,
I know you just wanted to set me free.

Not that long ago you were mine,
But now I don't get to cross that line.

It looks like you've moved on from me,
I always thought we were meant to be.

I know I'll miss you forever and ever,
But I think you want our bond to be severed.

I love you for eternity my dear,
Today I shed my final tear.

She is doing kind of **** I would never do
It genuinely hurts to see the way she's treating you
Back when mine I treated you as if you were my king
Looks as if in her mind you are nothing more than a fling
I try to hide disapproval because I don't have the right
To tell who is and who isn't worthy of holding you so tight
But is hard to witness you take any amount of abuse
Emotional and physical
You refuse to cut her loose
Does it seem I am simply sipping on some haterade?
Opinion formed without even giving you a chance to persuade
In gut instinct churns that she will run once more
What is stopping her now that wasn't in the way before?
Despite previous cold shoulder you dove right back into her (eye-see)icy sea
You really believe she changed overnight into the woman you need her to be
Suspicions
Concerns
Questions swarm my confused mind
You chase what does not care and leave who loves you behind
Rushing to her side again the moment you get the chance
When she pushes away I'm sure you'll repeat the dance
At worst I threw some punches when I lost control of my fist
Appears violent tendencies are something she doesn't bother to resist
I hope under covers she at least warms your body at night when it's late
Waking up by you privilege missed most so I pray that one blessing she appreciates
I wish her to hold you down whether doing good or bad
Because I supported through struggles no matter how little you had
She better carry more weight than I could to help relieve your heavy load
Demonstrating far greater strength then the pathetic bit I showed
Inevitably she will grow tired of the endless games and lies
Wonder how much manipulation she'll endure before she will finally cave and realize
I had given up on promised transformation and pushed for solely honesty
Something tells me she is not capable of accepting that this is all you'll ever be
She does a more adequate job than me at being everything you desire
Does a word exist describing the qualities I lack which you require?
Inside is excruciating knowing you have discovered happiness with someone new
In presence underneath maintained composure visciously longing to fall for anyone other than you
Unsure how much misery must drown in before loneliness finally sets me free
Maybe it is time to admit that this cage my heart is locked within was created with no key