Watch her as her eyes scan the horizon and her limbs begin to move.
As she masterfully turns a decade's worth of pain into empathy.
As she elegantly offers strength to each aching soul she meets.
She's changing lives, you've changed lives too; but she's nothing like you.
Watch her as her humility humbles you--

You, who told her she was weak,
You who so confidently refused to lay flowers at her tomb.
Watch her, as her chin begins to lift, her feet begin to move and she steadily struts past you.

Dirt shifts and earth moves.
It takes a team; shape shifting into something new.

  The sun's energy,
     The rain's hope,
        The rest in between, suggested each          
        night by the rising moon.

Seeds will tuck themselves away in their shell, seeking safety, until gently coaxed into the light by the loyal sun, they are cleansed by the loving rain, allowed to glow under the healing moon.

Addiction binds us fast in heavy chains,
A shadowed weight that lingers in our veins.
They call it substance trapped within our use,
Yet sorrow strikes, a deeper, darker bruise.

Sadness unfolds in fog’s relentless gray,
Its smudging hands erase the light of day.
Cold iron wraps the heart in steady grip,
As stories fracture, fragment, and then slip.

The shadows feast on what remains of light,
And nighttime robs the soul’s remaining fight.
Our cries dissolve like whispers in the breeze,
Where hope lies bound by sorrow’s cruel decrees.

Each breath grows thin, despair now lines the air,
A shroud of anguish drapes the world laid bare.
The spiral pulls us deeper with its trace,
It carves its scars on every grieving face.

The tides of hopelessness begin their rise,
To drown the stars that once adorned the skies.
Each thought becomes a plea for what once was,
A cycle spins and ends without a cause.

Despair’s soft hands grow tighter as they clasp,
A shifting sand that’s slipping from our grasp.
Inside this pit, the shadows find their mark,
They craft betrayal hidden in the dark.

We flee the taste of fear’s relentless sting,
Yet whispers draw us back with what they bring.
Eyes hollow out beneath their whispered breath,
And face the hollow promise born of death.

The mist of validation fades from sight,
Perfection dances far beyond the night.
Tonight our tears run heavy down the well,
Where silence grows and deeper shadows dwell.

The future spreads before an endless void,
A dream undone, a shattered hope destroyed.
Each breath we draw feels like the final strain,
A fleeting gasp of life that ends in pain.

We drink the brew that sorrow serves each day,
And hunger for the dark to light our way.
The mirror shows a soul in fractured glass,
A thousand wounds that time cannot surpass.

At last, the void becomes our quiet nest,
Its darkness soothes us into hollow rest.
We dance in shadows, numbing fleeting time,
In sorrow’s arms, we find this endless rhyme.

And when the dark consumes us, soul and all,
The final breath becomes the last to fall.
A whisper rises, soft: “You’re meant for me,”
As loss transforms into eternity.

Cross that bridge,
Because there's no reason
To continue this way.

You've given all the
Reasons,

And I can't let it
Take over your
Life.

You've come so far,
Blossomed like a
Flower,

Survived the storms
And rose towards
The stars.

So please,
Tell me what's keeping
You awake at night?

Is it the past
Plaguing your
Head?

Are you
Desperate to
Forgive and forget?

You say
Letting go is the
Hardest part.

And you know
You gotta

Let the past be
The past,

And live and
Let live.

Just know,
It's okay to
Feel this way.

This is only
Temporary.

You don't have
To hide anymore.

Because at the
End of the tunnel,

I'll be your guiding
Light,

Getting you back
To where you were
Before:

A flower reaching
Towards the stars.

I broke the leash—
felt it snap between my teeth,
the metal biting deep into my skin,
but its absence leaves a weight
heavy on my heart,
as though I’ve lost a limb.
Still, I carry it.
Every step feels like I’m betraying
the creature I was meant to be,
but I move anyway.

Your collar is gone,
but its echo tightens my chest,
a phantom pressure,
reminding me that I was born
to seek your approval,
to obey your every call.
I run,
but every breath tastes of you,
your presence clinging to me
like smoke I can’t escape.

Your voice gnaws at my spine,
low and sharp,
its growl imprinted in my bones.
I feel you in every shadow,
in every gust of wind,
like a leash invisible but real.
I push forward,
but the past scratches at my heels,
its claws deep in my skin.

Still, I run—
not without cost,
but I claw forward,
defying every instinct bred into me.
Your shadow pulls at my heart,
but I do not stop.
The path is not easy,
but every step is a battle
I am learning to win.

And though you haunt me—
your name, your scent,
the chains of my past—
I know this:
I have broken free.
No collar, no leash,
no chains will hold me again.
I am no longer your dog.

Do you ever stop to feel the weight,

Of the shadows you cast, the lives you take?

A kingdom built on muffled cries of anguish,

Where trust dissolves, and hope will vanish.

Each stone cemented by love in vain,

A throne of thorns where you stake your claim.

You painted yourself as my guiding light,

A savior who turned my wrongs to right.

With words like honey, you first drew me near,

Promising safety, erasing fear.

But behind the mask, your motives lay,

To take, to drain, to lead astray.

Initially, you showered me with gifts and praise,

A dazzling sun in my darkest days.

With every touch, every glance, you cast a spell,

A tale of love you wove so well.

But beneath the surface, cracks would show,

A fragile facade, a dangerous glow.

Your charm was a weapon, your kindness a snare,

A puppet master feigning care.

You mirrored my dreams, reflected my soul,

Only to shatter it, and take control.

The warnings were whispers I chose to ignore,

Lost in the rush of your grand encore.

You fed me visions of perfect bliss,

Each promise sealed with a fleeting kiss.

Yet shadows lingered in your embrace,

Hints of the darkness I couldn't face.

Your love was a storm dressed as the sky,

A whirlwind of sweetness, a hidden lie.

Now I see through the glittering haze,

The way you trapped me in your maze.

Only three months in, your mask began to slip,

Your words grew sharp, your kindness flipped.

Disrespect for women laced your tone,

A twisted king on a fractured throne.

You spoke of love but mocked my name,

Fueling the fire, stoking the flame.

You spewed gaslighted truths, I questioned my mind;

I was lost in a labyrinth you’d designed.

Every tear was met with disdain,

A cycle of cruelty, a haunting refrain.

Your jokes were daggers cloaked in jest,

Cutting deep where I tried my best.

The gaslight burned, distorting the night,

Leaving me desperate to prove I was right.

I saw the cracks, but you spun the blame,

Turning my fears into a cruel game.

"You're too sensitive," you'd always declare,

As if my pain was yours to compare.

In three short months, the facade fell apart,

Revealing the void where you kept your heart.

I gathered my strength, and decided to break free,

Convinced I deserved more than your cruelty.

I packed up my heart, my shattered resolve,

Thinking this time, the problem’s solved.

But you'd follow with guilt, a masterful art,

Your tears a weapon to pull me apart.

“I need you,” you’d whisper, “I’ll change, you’ll see,”

And again, you knew I’d believe in the fantasy.

The cycle repeated, a toxic refrain,

Hope resurrected, then shattered again.

Though I slipped away, no longer in chains,

You still acted as if I wore your name.

You played my empathy like a violin,

Twisting my kindness to let you back in.

Each time I ran, you’d pull me back tight,

A push and pull, a never-ending fight.

I knew I deserved a love that was pure,

But your deception made my heart unsure.

I truly longed for relief and release,

But your guilt held me captive, stealing my peace.

I lived in your shadow, tethered by lies,

Lost in the storm you brought to my skies.

You bled me dry of my joy and my light,

Draining the self-love that gave me my fight.

I cared for you, and I loved you still,

But never in the way that real love fulfills.

It wasn’t passion, nor hearts set ablaze,

But hope in the man behind your charade.

You never loved me; your heart was a guise,

A tool to secure what your ego prized.

All you wanted was a son to bear,

Your hollow name, your family’s heir.

Your love was a cage, your plans a snare,

A selfish pursuit, devoid of care.

So delusional: You thought I’d marry you and give in to your game;

You thought I'd sacrifice myself to bolster your name.

You saw me as nothing but a willing womb,

A vessel to carry your family’s bloom.

But I was never a pawn in your selfish desire,

I was never a spark to feed your dwindling fire.

You never even cared who, just needed the deed,

A son to fulfill your inherited greed.

How foolish you were to think I’d comply,

To live for your goals, to let myself die.

You underestimated the strength I wield,

A heart unbroken, a soul unconcealed.

Your intellect faltered, your brilliance a fraud,

Revealing a coward, unworthy of laud.

You’ll never trap me; I’ve severed the ties,

Exposing the truth beneath all your lies.

Even without love or a title, you thought I was yours,

Claiming my life, locking all of the doors.

You fancied yourself a god of my fate,

Blind to the strength that would seal your state.

Your narcissism spun its tangled thread,

A throne of delusion inside your head.

But I was never yours; I broke your snare,

A hollow man, left grasping at air.

In those last six months, the truth was clear,

I saw your games and escaped your sphere.

I loved myself more with each step away,

Reclaiming the light you stole each day.

Your name, your touch, no longer define,

The woman I am, this strength is mine.

You sought to trap me, to make me your own,

But I rise unbroken, no longer alone.

I left you behind before the new year began,

To leave you in the past was my final plan.

Now 2025 blooms with self-love and grace,

A future of true love, I’m finally ready to embrace.

at two and a half years old,
newly adopted, her first home
my cat wouldn't eat
unless I sat with her.
she would lay next to me,
let me hold her in my arms
but didn't trust her world to eat alone
to be in such a vulnerable state
back turned, unguarded.
after all
her history demonstrated, time and time again
that her food would be stolen
she'd have to fight for it
that someone could hurt her
because they did, they had.
two years later
she'll lay next to me
let me hold her in my arms
and eat
even when I'm not there
but some days
she still asks

I read our last text last night

I read them for the 1000th time

My eyes glazed over the words that I have now memorized

Every word, every sentence, that has haunted me for two years

I read our text last night and something clicked

I saw who you were for the first time

The way you handle stress, rejection, disobedience in me

You hated when I had a voice

You hated when I spoke the truth

You lashed out with every tactic you had in your arsenal, trying to get me back

But I left

I left you after those texts

And I'm never going back

I see you for who you are now

It breaks my heart to see such a sad little boy, desperate for someone, anyone, to stay

But that won't be me

You used me to fill the empty gaps in your life

You can't sit still, you can't just "be", that's too real for you

You fill up your time with things

Push people away who don't fit your mold

I was miserable and so were you, but the difference is that you still are

I'm free from you, from the 180 pounds of dead weight I carried for four years

I have a skip in my step, a light radiating through my chest that has been cracked open

I see you now

I know who you are

And I don't want you anymore

getting harder daily not to break down, cry.
this feels like such a waste of a life.
waiting for the day that i finally cross the line,
and yet it never comes. you stay. you choose me, us, every time.