im sinking down
To a place where i hang out
when no ones around
where the birds fly, maybe soar
a memoir of yore
when i used to lay on the floor
and imagine an upside down world.
Where people jump in and out of doors
and balance on beams nd round the bend they twirl
Overdone masculinity rules this world but in mine it twas a girl
No sides were taken, no war, no fight. and she was black
History moves forward and you cannot take anything back
when i look back to back i tend to think we have two faces
the breath is being lost and we've all gone missing in our paces
I want to evolve my system but there is no racing
I want to speak and there is only facing
No missing, just placing
until our spirits are interlacing
towards one envisioned nation

I pick & pick & pick.
I peel the layers off, satisfyingly.
I watch the blood ooze out.
Slowly running down arms and legs.

I pick & pick & pick again.
I tear the skin off, contently.
I watch the skin reveal pink flesh.
Slowly, I feel alive.

I keep thinking of you;
I pick the scab.

I keep remembering everything;
I pick the scab.

Flashes of your face invoke my memories;
The blood runs.

The sound of your laugh enters my mind;
The blood drips.

I go to places that were special to us;
I smile.

I pretend you’re there with me;
I laugh.

I sit in silence--
I talk in my head.
I even scream sometimes.
All while I pick & pick & pick some more.

The same cycle occurs over and over again:
I pick, bleed, then heal.

Healthy,     isn’t it?

D reams are more existent than reality
E ach of us experiences more pain than happiness
A ll trauma is equal
T raumatic experiences are more important than joyous ones
H ealing is inevitable, and yet impossible.

My chest aches differently today.
It's not the heartbreak,
It's not the pain,
I'm not even sure if it's a mixture of both.

It might be the memories of us disappearing into the abyss of my soul.
It might be the essence of you detaching from me.
It hurts, but it doesn't hurt as bad anymore.

I hear my heart thumping.
One beat at a time,
Slowly, but surely regaining its strength.
It reminds me that I am still alive.

I feel the wounds.
Bleeding, healing,
And building back stronger.

I feel everything.
All at once.
And for once, I feel okay.

The ache in my chest is different today.
It may be the heartache.
It may be the pain.
Or even a mixture of the two.

But for once,
I feel okay.

I'm still alive.

My chest aches differently today.
It's not the heartbreak,
It's not the pain,
I'm not even sure if it's a mixture of both.

It might be the memories of us disappearing into the abyss of my soul.
It might be the essence of you detaching from me.
It hurts, but it doesn't hurt as bad anymore.

I hear my heart thumping.
One beat at a time,
Slowly, but surely regaining its strength.
It reminds me that I am still alive.

I feel the wounds.
Bleeding, healing,
And building back stronger.

I feel everything.
All at once.
And for once, I feel okay.

The ache in my chest is different today.
It may be the heartache.
It may be the pain.
Or even a mixture of the two.

But for once,
I feel okay.

I'm still alive.

You fear you've lost,
Your love at last.
That your full heart,
has come to pass.
The time well spent,
Was not in vain.
The memories made,
Will now sustain.
Hearts will heal,
Mend and restore.
In God, at last,
Do not ignore.

Blocked, caged in, suffocating smothered in pain
significant other feeling abandoned while in your presence
in your mental you're going insane
no love lost, because no love gained! thought after thought
living, but stuck in the past
show no emotions-because having emotions is what got you here
Finding a way back to the old you seems a far.
such a long distance from you
you know, the you that smiled alot whose face was once full of light
The you that cared and actually enjoyed caring
Soon those Deep Thoughts will make you realize what it is that you do
you make everyone feel lonely while connected to you.

mind, a flipbook
alternating stories

soul, a river,
storm and rage

roar and battle
love and hate

one for me
one for the fake

but it dies down

for moments in time
against a picture for mind
a lake for soul

and they forget.

but only a moment,
the others won't allow

we must roar and battle
for now