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I don’t know who
I’m supposed to be
Who I am
or who they want me to be
The answer’s not
so easy to see
Not well known
There's an uncertainty
Knee-**** answer
is to be
wholly free
I'll explain
in detail
Paint a picture clearly
A tutor's not needed
No need to study
No higher degree
With candor
I’ll speak

Let me tell you about
so-called “un-pleasantries"
The list is quite lengthy
A few;
maybe three
Gonna rattle them off
What's been mentioned to me
Not the worst of mistakes
but a category
May irritate some
To others
‘let be’
Saying that’s who I am
and as such
accept me
A minority group
not the majority
and by far
and by few
They are lost in between

Some say I’m intense
and can be
quite chatty
Loquacious
a talker
‘Verbose’ tendency
Don’t deny what is true
But not always guilty
The day in
and day out
doesn't constantly stream
Not sustained
They can change
Just like who
we will be
Not robots
Not copies
or placed on CD
Live a life
of routine
but not one
on repeat
Even still
I must say
there are worse things to be

Empathetic and kind
I give generously
All I have
My last dime
Will donate
each penny
I'm not searching for credit
Approval don't seek
Like to make others happy
Inside, I’m complete
When I focus on others
No discrepancy
I’m not dwelling
or thinking
of my tendencies
Please don't offer
your pity
or give charity
Try to bend; compromise
don’t perceive me
as weak
I'm the chivalrous type
Will get down
on one knee
Not walled off or closed up
Bare my soul
Give freely
But there's more
locked inside
So when time comes to speak
It’s a flood
a deluge
There's an intensity
Give too much
Give too quick
Try to stop
inside keep
I can bottle
it up
but sometimes
it still peaks
Little may trickle out
Suddenly
it will seep
If an access is given
Explodes
in a heap
When I love
I dive in
You may think I’m a freak
The emotional type
Tug heart strings
and I’ll weep
Not a blubbering fool
my emotions
run deep
A calm hand
I can sooth
Situation-ally
In a crisis
I’m strong
This unfortunately
is something
that I know
But don’t wish on
to speak
Life presents me
two roads
With both closed off
to me
Feel locked up
in a cage
while I look
to be free

A locked door
Here I stand
desperately for the key
Wanting answers
Assistance
A new found decree
Need a mantra
A mission
systemically
affecting systems
The true stem
of what’s me
Fundamental
My core
Sprouting roots from a tree
Happiness from the Sun
or beneath canopy
Not about
getting answers
Away goes the fee
Hamlet asked long ago
If 'to be or not be'
I know that it's different
Just work with me please
My point
is the question
In life, what to seek?
A life
that’s authentic
or society
We conform
and adapt
What they want us to be
If like me
you're unsure
It can drive you crazy
Take a chance?
And be pure
Live a life that's taint free
In return
you'll endure
Side remarks
and critiques
Is the juice worth the squeeze?
Be like them
or unique
Written: September 22, 2108

All rights reserved.
[Anapestic Hexameter Format]
Mane Omsy Apr 2018
Boredom kills your mind
Scratching from the surface
Taking every chance it gets
To push you down the road
Raging you in the flame
Tagging memories contained
Wishes and dreams passed on
To another, until it works

Sometimes you have to be
Sometimes you shouldn't
But when it starts to itch
Just take the highway road
And overcome your fear
Let your strength be the one
To beat your own conscious
Natasha Jan 2018
I apologize,
for I am broken
and for all the things
I've left unspoken.
I criticize
myself, every time
you're around
for within myself I looked and reasoned
and there is not a cause to be found.
I am tainted
by my past renditions
left me in this strange condition
for more- is never enough,
but away these marred feelings I tuck.
But, it's okay
I swear I'm fine
I'm just losing myself in my mind
she calls me through sleep and time
to whisper horror stories late at night.
Lady Dressed in black,
disintegrating yet still whole
crying, as I sputter
shovelling dark, demonic coal.
Into the fire, she burns,
down beneath, revealing
something I never wanted to see
but she showed it to me anyway.
Held my hair and made me stay,
made me touch, made me play
made me say I like it
I swear I like it
I do.
it's really hard to describe
exactly what I've been through.
I've recited it enough in my mind,
I'd like to explain it to you.

I'd like to believe I could
if you were to ever bring it up.

but whenever I try to talk about it
the words always get stuck.
Does anyone have an experience similar?
Lunar Nov 2017
I love you."
wjh said these words a year ago,
and for some reason it doesn't only makes me feel happy and assured,
but it makes me sad and lonely too.
he's got a tinge of wistfulness in him, that's why i like him a lot.
he makes me feel like there's more to loving someone
because of seeing them happy.
you truly love someone even when you see them sad.
Paul Jones Aug 2017
All I have to do      is care, tend to you
and when you flower,     I will feel human.
22:45 - 10/08/17

State of mind: divided.
Perspective: natural; spiritual.

Thoughts: from thinking - what makes us human is an expanding capacity for love. It's the thought that counts... and your actions that add up.

Questions: What will you do with the sum of your addition?

Listening to: The Lumineers - Angela.
Paul Jones Aug 2017
An ivy cutting     will start growing roots
all along its stem,      if touched by water.
23:20 - 06/07/17

State of mind: reflective; deep thought.
Perspective: natural; structural.

Thoughts: from observations - of an ivy cutting that grew its roots, not only from the base of the stem where it was cut, but also all along the stem, at the intersections where the branches grew out its leaves.

We grow from what wounds us, but also from where we are allowed to grow. If that place is fear we grow fearful, if that place is want we grow wanting... and so on for any state of mind. Societies, too, have a state of mind.

If fear or want is to be overcome, it must be in a place where they are not familiar.

When conflict arises from fear or want, the peace must be bridged by creating an atmosphere of respect, understanding, and communication.

Questions: how can an atmosphere of respect, understanding and communication become the emphasis for interpersonal relations?
BSeuss Jul 2017
I sometimes walk back into a public establishment, for a logical reason in myself, simply because I've  seen a person who looked curios to me. When I notice that they are no longer their as I enter and take my seat, I continue on. Nothing changes.

I've come a long long way.
When I was a little boy, I would breakdown in tamper-tantrums, because someone I cared about for no reason had disappeared,  never to be seen again.

(Hi, may I have a large coffee, please. That's all)
It is what is.
I guess I'm still me at heart.
Professor thoughts.
Transcendent soul.
But a kid, when I laugh.
I am still the kid I was..... difference is, I have to go to work now.
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