A guy in Argentina
Painted a
Firest
The shape of
A guitar for his late wife
Out of love

I am getting a
DNA bracelet tattoo for
To show what was our
Love
The positive side of it.
Out of love

hey daddy i
have been trying for so...
long

please may i talk to
you?

forgive me to disturb you i
know you're a genius
as well as a soldier

may i?

Watch the wild winds of a whipsy whim
Courage
Cure for the caged coward covering care
Valor
Value validates the victim of violence
Patience
Paint pride in the presence of perturbed people

And I wonder
Whether I am
A good person or
A bad person

I wish no harm in anybody
Yet I have caused harm to them

And I live with the guilt
Of my conscience
Of the sin of a betrayal

And despite the efforts to do good
Am I going to be stuck making mistakes that hurt people

If so..it would be easier
For everyone If
I cease to exist

But that would be running away

Have you met my friend Shame?
He’s not really my friend, he’s kind of a **** actually
Yet I keep him around
He’s not the best company,
he really brings me down.
I don’t ask for his opinions, he just barks them at me
telling me you’re stupid, you ****
you’re not good at anything
you don’t care about anything, really
you’ll never be where you want to be
He hovers like the annoying office-space pusher
and drones on, and on, and on
about how it doesn’t matter if you feel good
because you’re never gonna be good
and how everything you do is inadequate
(compared to whom, I have no idea)
and everything you say is incorrect
(on what scale, I can’t imagine)
and how you will never be able to accept
what you think you deserve
because you don’t deserve anything
(how dysfunctional to say)
And while this nihilist is that and more,
I continue to bade in his company
Buying into his lines a little deeper each time
He has quite the convincing nature,
for he just keeps going on and on
He says I don’t deserve anything
I definitely don’t deserve this

I want to be anything
Criminal stealing hope
Saint giving peace
Tyrant breaking skulls

Anything to vanish
To escape this flesh
Forget the trauma
Dissolve the fingerprints
Leave tears behind


Bars of nerves and veins
Walls dripping blood clots
Floors of rotting black gelatin

A bleeding heart
is neither blessing
Nor curse
Simply a purgatory
For the weak fool

I seem to grow in ever direction,
With new branches sprouting from every pore
They do not need the sun
To be true,
They grow faster in its absence.
My photosynthesis feeds so greedily,
It consumes light.
Yet the feast never stops, continues
With invisible source.
Light is the appetizer,
Smiles the side
With darkness bringing
Endless entrees.
Crunch!
Crack!
Snap!
Snacking smacks fill the empty air.
My skin crawls as my mold,
Spreads and consumes.
My own movement sickens me.
I am disease.

Lifeless
You lay there
Dead and cold

Touches
Light flicks
Dry and rough

Quiet
Not a sound
Scream nor praise

Question
What is wrong
Flaccid and limp

Horror
Hands are filth
Unwanted intruders

Recoil
Shake in guilt
Truth stabbing tears

Despondence. As I ponder, the thought of love, the thought of like, and what's the point of it all.
Self loathing, while I think of her, and how she has no idea of my motives. The innocence is all consuming each time she gives me a glance, and god sees failure in me as I glance back.

I see it as a person
no thought or illness but this tag along that refuses to leave
on days where I am sad I listen as friends try their best to make it easier
on days like this the voice screams
I don't hear the reassurance and praise but only the screams
the bad
I find myself feeling guilty for this voice in my head
unable to hear anything but how terrible I am
I find myself feeling guilty for the people around me
this person in my head spreads a darkness
and I do not blame people for running for safety