A pretty, puffy, lavender dress tight-fitting to her tummy
Seated at a plastic chair chomping on treats oh-so-yummy!
Plump lips slathered in clear lip gloss and a couple cupcake crumbs
She smiles at me, says 'pull up a seat', and I'm sure this'll be fun


Dolls and teddy bears, teeny plastic cups filled with kiddie tea
Batting long lashes and adoring eyes, she directs attention on me


A cloud of cotton candy perfume hangs in the air as she gushes
I compliment her party, and she looks away and blushes


"lets not talk about me, how about Bear?"
Taps his head "he's got all the latest gossip up there"
I laugh, "How about you, little one, any stories to tell?"
She pauses for a moment, bites her lip, "well..."


She's trembling, I see, it comes out in a stream
"There's lots of stuff I'm not supposed to tell about mommy."

"But ***** said she once lost three babies, where did they go?
and once upon she didn't eat, how'd ***** know?
I've got a lot of baby fat as well, take a peek
And maybe I'd be as pretty as mommy if I didn't eat."


"Mommy never pays attention to me, cause ***** cuts her wrist
We never play anymore now, I always get dismissed...
I was once in the room, you know, I watched her bleed
And there's some blades in this carpet now, it's terrifying."

"Also, did you know daddy's never home?
He's got a new.. girlfriend now.. and a house of his own
Mommy's still his wife so thats weird I think
It's also nice, when he was here all he did was hit and scream."

"But it makes mommy cry, I don't want to see her sad
and her and ***** always fight, why're they so mad?
Mommy's so upset with me too, I'm afraid she'll run away
Hey, is it my fault if my mommy doesn't stay?"


Bitter tea sweetened with the slow drip of tears
Aloud, this little girl has voiced my worst fears
I push away my chair, prepared to walk out
Her lips begin to purse into a childish pout


"I knew it! I knew it! I should've never even told!
I won't tell anyone ever again! Get out! Just go!"
.

Spreading darkly from within
A cloud filled my breast
And slowly pulling me in
Ground me into the dust, depressed

On the dead earth below me
A dripping black hand
Struggled fiercely up to free
The shadows of the demon band

Others nearby glanced my way
Smiled at me, or cursed
With a venomous red spray
Fed my dark and demon-made thirst

Looking behind them I saw
On great poison wings
Creatures, crimson mouths all raw
From speaking unspeakable things

If we had courage to boast
Allied, we could beat
The hellspawned, bloodthirsty ghosts
That hungrily follow our feet

The other side of the coin
Fearing the unknown
No one dares to join
We each have demons of our own

and with their hands of words
they reach towards
my thoughts to slice them
to widen the cut
and tear open
my intricacies
digging for spice and mud

as you unsheathe analysis
I devour all the violence
of voyeuristic
snaking
searing intentions

I will not allow
this foul transparency
to be my autopsy

The ghost of spread lips
will haunt the house
inside your skull
because
there's nothing wrong
with being who I was

as eva smokes cigars

      ^.      ^
as Eva & Joseph
in their ware of blue
solemnly
have the dills seed
and their clouds brought reign
but she'd vex their hearts in church again
why all is for one

as she's
so felt this
way too
but her
slits between
thighs array
with shirts
that she
skirt her  
ludicrous
beliefs that
really miss
tan lines
round her
gluteus maximus