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Hello Daisies Mar 21
Stab you
STAB
BURN YOU IN YOUR BLOOD

YOU USED ME
I KNOW
YOU ******* ***

REAP WHAT YOU SEW
I'LL TRAMPLE EVERYONE
THAT'S HURT MY SOUL

Ignore me
Throw me aside
Take your fist
And ******* me inside

My face burrowed in despair
My eyes sank into the floor
You sat and laughed right over there

Same as all before
Use me for your needs
And then ignore

Act like no harm was done
While you make way
Using another to ***

I'm tired
  Tired
     Tired

stop using me
Stop throwing me away
Stop ******* ignoring what i say

My eyes shined for you
But just as quick as they did
You threw me in the trash bin

Everytime I let free
The love hiding inside
forced everytime to hide and cry

anger brews my boiling blood
My mind is screaming
Only frigid cold up above

They won't talk to me
So I'll make them scream
******* ***** won't let me breathe

COME CLOSER
I'LL STAB YOU IN THE HEART
YOU CAN FEEL THE SAME AGONY
TEARING ME APART

SHARP PAIN STARTS IN MY CHEST
GOES INWARD
YOU DONT SEEM IMPRESSED

LET ME KEEP STABBING
STABBING
    STAB
         BING
YOU'LL BE ALL ******
AND CRYING

MAYBE YOU'LL UNDERSTAND
HOW PAINFUL CUTS CAN WOUND

CRY OUT FOR ME
BUT MY ATTENTION
HAS CHANGED COMPLETELY
YOU'RE JUST
TRASH
   NOW

I'm sorry you're dying
But how pathetic
   Leave me alone
      Oh stop crying
Abdulrhman Sep 2018
they made love
best of love
when they hate
each other
he know nothing but
a furious passion
she loves nothing but
that kind of power
A Apr 2018
I hate affection,
Affection hates me,
Smothered with presence,
Til you struggle to breathe.

Cry and they hold you,
Hold you really tight,
Thinking a cuddle,
Makes everything alright.

Approach me I squirm,
I turn the other way,
Eyes full of concern,
But nothing more to say.

I'm awkward, I know,
I do try to fit in,
Then open arms appear,
And they know they can't win.

But sometimes at night,
When it's dark and it's cold,
I long for that touch,
For someone to hold.

Why does it scare me?
To be held so tight?
Is it fear of love?
Or that they just might?

It's hard to let down,
A wall built so high,
To let someone through,
With fear of a lie.

I know some love me,
I know some don't,
I've seen some pretend,
And those who just won't.

Used to switching off,
So I feel no pain,
There's nothing to loose,
And nothing to gain.

It's safer that way,
And always has been,
There's isn't any confusion,
No "what does that mean?"

I hate affection,
Affection is fear,
But that doesn't mean,
You can't still be here.

©
NM Oct 2017
Behold the man who terrfies with power,
Behold the man who can **** a king with his glower.
All hail the man who has it all,
All hail the man who cannot fall.

Woe to the man who fears judgement day,
He paces and turns the clock off in fear driven rage.
Woe to the man who hides his pills from the other "eyes",
He sits vengeful at his past, masking it with every lie.
Woe to the man who doesn't sleep at night,
For he regrets selling is soul, he doesn't sleep in fright.
Woe to the men who are evil, for deep down they do not know,
Their sickness has overcome them, they aren't aware they are suffering, barely able to crawl.

Behold the one who sees it all,
It is I, the lowly, the injured, the small.
Behold the one with the love for the wolves when the world does not,
I love what the world only wishes to die and rot.
The evil are not born evil, some this truth is no option,
For many, "Go to hell, you deserve no love, you are just a toxcin."
I have grown to love what you consider "wicked",
Despite my life, I am the victim.
I can only love and forgive, no hatred after all these years,
I still pray for them, behind my bruises, scars and tears.

We could both debate, argue and try to pursuade, but I care too much, I will not lie behind hate.
Perhaps a weakness, call me pathetic,
but I was sent to heal the broken,
Even if it makes me just as sick.

Without a cure, how can we heal?
Without a heaven, there is only hell.

I fear the day when I am free,
I fear the day this chord is broken,
Killing them from me.
What will be left is me the murderer,
Me to mourn their decay;
And what will be left is just a dream, a blurr.
A pain I cannot bare to think it,
I cannot stomach that, not even for a bit.

So, woe and behold,
The evil, the sick,
Whom society and the mind is their virus,
A good soul their antibiotic.
Survivor of SRA/CSA and multiple traumas.
To my abusers, whom I could never find it in my heart to harbour hatred and vengence, for doing so would keep me not only prisoner, but blind.
Despite all the pain they have given me and the freedom, innocence, and stabilty I may never have again, I have learned to love and understand their pain deep inside.
What has made them, them today...
What has destroyed them.
I hated seeing that pain.
I have done everything I could to be what I believed "a cure" for their troubled hearts.
Who knows if what I did found them.

It kills me still that I don't feel "sane" without them, as if I killed them by escaping because at one time they said "we were one".
Yes, I still deal with heavy Stockholm Syndrome, but for me, loving and forgiving is what I will never not do.

As said, no one is born evil,
No one is born with a black heart.
I wished society can understand this,
but there is nothing more I can do.

To all surviors of all trauma large or small, May peace, happiness and freedom forever be with you. <3
Dazed Dreaming Oct 2017
This **** got me feeling some type of way...
And I felt compelled to say..
Swallow my thoughts..
******* words..
And if it's too nasty spit it back at me..
I want you to feel just how I feel..
I want you to know...
That if you let me...
You sure as hell wont regret me...
****, if you let me...
You'll never forget me...
Please don't act like you know me..
All you know is word of mouth...
That doesn't mean you know me...
All that means...
Is you know someones ****** up portrayal of me...


I feel like I'm on stage...
Performing in front of a bunch of clowns...
Talking a bunch of ****..
Cuz you've got me all wrong...
I'm aint no clown...
I know my name's getting tossed around...
My personal business is just in everyone's ears...

And At this point...
I'm just above all this ****..
My head is in the clouds...
I've been through it all...
31 years young and I've been through it all...
The fails, the falls...
Are you surprised??
I'm like Niagara...
look closely...
I got right back up like ******...
I'm still standing...

So, Stop trying to shoot me down..

How could you ever really know my story?
You've never been in my shoes...
Don't you know no one alive can always be an angel?
When everything goes wrong....
You see some bad...
I'm honestly just a soul whose intentions are good...

So go ahead...
Love me or hate me...
I swear it won't make or break me...
You have no idea where my head was in that battle...
I was just trying to stay ahead of my shadow...

Truth is...
I lost everything, but I ain't the only one...
Don't care what you try and say...
That's life...
That's just how the **** it goes...
I knocked, and hope wasen't there...
Love was gone but maybe it was never there...

So, who the hell are you to judge?
Didn't you know...
First came the hurricane, then the morning sun?

But its cool now, its fine...
I'm no longer angry...
I'm no longer floating like a boat without a paddle...
I'm just cool like LA nights...
Speaking nothing but truth to you,
high as a kite...
Hahaha why did this take me so long to write lol oh yea... Lol
Sylus Fox Jun 2017
I've felt this before
It always starts
As a ball in stomach.
It begins to sink,
Pulling me down with it,
Until I can't convince myself
It's worth getting up.
Then it begins to rise.
In my chest it burns,
It pushes against my heart and lungs
I cannot breathe
I do not care.
In my throat it waits
Waits for me to cry it out
Or drink it down.
I will do neither,
Simply lay in my unmade bed
Counting plaster drips on my ceiling
Until it goes back down.
~Sylus
gray rain Jul 2016
Something changed
it was a new kind of pain
I don't know why
watching people run with bulls
being injured for no reason
other than to look 'masculine'
seems so pointless that it hurt
it was so painful it felt like my chest was closing
like I couldn't breath but I was
it wasn't a panic attack
I was having a bad day
I was tired
I wanted to go home
but watching something so pointless hurt so much and I don't know why.
So today is San fermin and there were few people in school so both Spanish classes were merged together and we watched the 2007 bull run and being scared of just about every animal I don't see the point of it then I started to feel like I was going to have a panic attack but knew I wouldn't it just hurt watching people be trampled amd I don't know why.

— The End —