I gave you
A piece of me
Under the impression
That you
Would put a piece of you
Back in its place.
But time and time again,
I am left wanting.
Empty
And alone
With nothing left
To give

One by one
the list gets longer.
Promises of continuity
turn into emotional tourism.
The word "goodbye"
has built a permanent home
behind my teeth.
But despite the familiarity,
I am still left with a bitter taste.
Alone, I choke on the silence
as I sit in the presence
you once filled
wondering what the hell
is so wrong with me
that no one ever stays

When the floating moment passes
Everything crashes down.
A second, a millisecond, a microsecond
It’s short and long and short once more.

Nobody expects the end.
But we know it is coming
Because it always does.

The wind whispers to me:

𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹𝒷𝓎𝑒

My home sits atop a lonely wave
Basking in the sun
My home of flora and sturdy nave
Of which I am a nun

Lilies grow in white quartets
Jasmine from every crevice  
Spiders sew their thoughtful nets
Dust on every surface

Here my pilgrimage ends
At the waistline of the coast
The lemons that became my friends
Will now observe my ghost

The day you left
You took something from me
Softly, quietly,
Pretending you weren't a thief

You ran out
In the middle of the night
And I know I deserved
A better goodbye

You were a liar
But so was I
When I said “I love you”
Thank god I lied

You couldn’t steal my heart
‘Cause you didn’t know
Where it was

So instead you stole my pride
So I could’t be the first
To leave you behind

I've been here before,

in this bed, and in this love --


room without a view.

Would the growing distance between us be filled with
angered screams
regretful tears
or a quiet understanding?

Would you place the blame on me because
I didn't love you enough
I kept my walls up
and I never invested all of my energy into us?

Would I try to explain that
my head was in a dark place
I was being pulled in a thousand directions
and I hoped you'd see the beauty in my disaster?

Would we reminisce on
our trip to that tiny island
to that little Airbnb
that had the exposed brick?

Who am i
Before i was born
What was i doing
In the mysteries of the unknown
Do i have a name
Where do i call my home
Did i say goodbye
Before i was gave birth by my mom.
Why did i chose my parents.
Who carried me first,
Who cleaned me up,
Who wiped my first tears
Who were my first friend
Why do i have to be in haste
Why do i have to die
Where are you taking me to
Am i going home ?

When you say goodbye,
you don't mean it.
You mean "I'll see you later."
"Talk soon."
"I'll miss you."

When I say goodbye,
I'm gone.

And you can be sure
I'm never coming back.