Pleasure does not always mean happiness
Same as tears could mean joy without sadness
Sometimes, you found ‘it’ in a weird place called ‘pain’
You’re not a *******, just in love with the ‘gain’

You cannot give what you don’t have
You can only give to as much as you love
And love is getting ’pain’ for the ’gain’
Just to give away your ’gain’ in a painful way

Then, the ’pain’ will go away
Then, you search again for a way
A way to get another ‘gain’
That means another ‘pain’

Then, you give away your ‘gain’ (again)
You will release the ‘pain’ (again)

This cycle will continue until a time
A time when you only have is time
Stopping this make you a dead person
To continue is to find a great reason

Pain. Gain. Give. Repeat.
There’s no other way to cheat.

my roman nose did not
fit the cupboard womb
as I stared at
the silhouette
of a ketchup stain on  
a breakfast table
raw burger meat,
ripe debutantes
all bathed in
glycerin and
self-destruction
waiting for teeth
or the occasional knife

I pressed
against
the greasy
diner table
arms crossed
to hide my face behind
a promise to be
waiting for it
open mouthed
and mute
chiaroscuro, blind

You see , in this life
Its not about how much you make
What your skin color is
Or who your parents are
You know life is like a box of chocolates
You dont know what you're gonna get till you open it
And maybe you might get a peanut filled chocolate but you have a peanut energy so you swell and puff up and cant breathe anymore so you die painfully
Or you might get liquid **** disguised as chocolate so you eat it and get e coli

But ITS ABOUT WHATS IN YOUR HEART AND SOUL THAT MATTERS
ITS ABOUT YOUR DETERMINATION
KEEP GOING
DONT GIVE UP
DONT EVER NEVER GIVE UP
YEAH
DONT CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY
YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT
I AM DONE WITH MY PARENTS FORCING ME TO BE A DOCTOR
IM GONNA LIVE OUT MY DREAMS AS A JANITOR
BECAUSE ITS WHATS IN HERE THAT COUNTS
MY DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

For two years
we spent every day together
every night talking
I thought we were friends

For two years I listened to you
talk about everything
heart ache, family, work
I thought I knew you

FOR TWO YEARS
I SUPPORTED YOU
I HELPED YOU THROUGH SO MUCH
why now is it like this

You say now that I am your darkness
that I make you an alcoholic
You perverted everything we did
and tried to take my friends

For two months
you ignored me
We live together but you ignored me
now it’s been four months


And I’ve given up on you

take me softly as you please
take me roughly as you need
take me break me but when you leave
leave a piece left for me

I fell asleep to the music and memories of you
I got high off the remnants of your lingering perfume
Caught in my jacket that you wore

They say we're all destined for one other
Thought that was you
Guess I was wrong

Do you remember the place we first met?
I do
My darkest times
My weakest of moments

You took me in
Fixed me and my broken soul
Healed me from my shattered self

You showed me the good in life
Just as I had seen the bad
I only found it got worse

You gave and gave
But little did I know
You could take and take just as easily.

I made many mistakes in my time
But there is one I regret above all
Meeting you

Guess you'll find me at the same place we first met
My darkest times
My weakest moments
And my broken heart