lift me up higher,

to a place where i can touch the heavens

if not the heavens, then at least the stars

if not the stars, then the clouds could do

if not the clouds, then you should not

you should not lift me up,

instead put me down,

if you should choose to put me down darling,

all i ask is that you do so,

you should do so gently.

You draw me gently near  
Letting me know I have nothing to fear
Your touch soothing as a breeze
You've set my beating heart at ease

But before I was so close to you
A bridge had to be set
To link our great divide
Yes it was you
Who paid my debt
And sent Your Son who died

It was Him they did seize
When it should've been me
Twasn't but ordinary fees
But still You thought it worth your Son to save humanity

She will sit at 1am
Thinking of what she did wrong
And draw absurd conclusions that
She just wasn’t good enough for you

She will
Toss and turn at 2am
Asking herself why you
Let her go so easily

She will cry at 3am
Thinking of how you
Let her fall
Knowing well
You never intended
Of catching her

She will want to
Hate you at 4am
But instead find herself
Scrolling through
Your pictures

She will want you
To hold her tight at 5am
And tell her you miss her
Whilst you kiss her forehead so gently

She will catch herself at 6am
Sleeping at the thought of you
Telling her you love her
And how you never want
To let go

She will wake up at 7am
To a wet pillow
Because you let her sleep
Wondering if you ever cared
About her the way you claimed you did

She will start her day
Trying to find a piece of you
In the men she offers herself to
Only to find disappointment waiting for her

She will drown her wild thoughts with drugs
Just to numb the pain
She will call, cry and scream out your name
With a heavy heart;
That is yearning to be with you..

My mind is weird
I feel like its wired differently, a little more gently
So, I sometimes sit down and watch words, flying by
Words passing by, passwords, almost like birds, but just words
Telling me a story, about glory and a dragon, guarding gold and territory

I was washed up on your shores
thinking you were serine blanket
                      that would caress me.

But you were more like a breeze
               gently eroding me before
I knew I was less than I was before.

You shaped me into a figure that
was useful eroding me inwards
             till I was a shell of my former self.

When I ever listened within,
     I only heard your voice washing
                           in waves seducing my mind.

She was the noose that
       I'd hang myself from,
I would put the snare of
        her heart around my throat.

Her words would caress my
       windpipe strangling
me with loves whispers,
              suffocating me gently.

But words were hard to speak
        when she was collecting tightly
around my breath.
I couldn't be with her as I was suffocating,
                                 my actions she hung me from.

Gently touch her, gently care,
For the day may come — swiftly when
That endless cruel knocking
on doors bolted from the inside
Dies down and turns into
gray silence.

She, irksome as it is,
goes round and round in circles
Looking for the missing pair
She wears the other one, anyway,
And sits down in grief.

She says, “I want to go home.
Let me go home.”
“Mama, you are home,” you answer.
Vexation rears its ugly head
And you force each horn,
one at a time, to recede:
To vanish from sight.

Then gaining composure you say:
“Mama, let’s pray.”
God hears, and you are healed. Set free.
Instantly.
Of the agony of bearing about
in your own body
The weight of selfishness
And sin
And sheer ignorance of
what it feels like
To have Time ****** away Memory
From you and those you love.

The stark feebleness of this
bent, white creature
With veined hands and bony feet
Reminds you of your own
Utter helplessness.
Mortality.