So much emphasis on time.
We spend our lives counting time.
Rolling wheels to the next road sign.
Yet we sometimes forget.
*That its all in our minds

I write of words of pain
Of darkness looming
and innocence slain
For Soul's redemption
And Greed's own gain

They say;
no  pain  no  gain
But I don't see any gain
I tried to find it
I thought it might be present in the courts
So I looked for justice
But couldn't find it
I thought it might be present in the
Hard work
So I looked for success
But couldn't find it either
So when I was tired,
I bowed down before my Lord
I asked if I haven't suffered enough pain?
Do I need to suffer again?
I cried,
Asked for help
Cried for peace
My Lord smiled at me and replied:
Dear  child  I  know  you  tried
and  now  you ­ are  tired
but  as  you  see  this  is  all  what  made you  close  to  me
this  is  the   gain
and  that's  why  all  of  this  had  to  ­be
And now I know  as I have untangled this  cord
Your life is the story about you and your Lord

pat dreamt too long
& now she's gone
she's dust
at dusk

she resembles the colors of flowers
she's running in a meadow
with legs from '79
under the pine trees

the sun splashes against her skin
effervescent
she's smiling
she's gleaming

her hair is ripping
against the cool breeze
arms outstretched
she's pulling you in

her warmth is like no other
a fire blazes within her
a timid light, but fierce
she's a safe haven 

she doesn't know you
but she invites you in
she teaches you the way
& let's you run off on your own

she observes, quiet & fixed
she feels & pours out the toxicity
she pushed on
& now she's gone

Profane are my deeds and I love it
Cobain is my twin, I'll **** me
For no reason but because I love me
And I take what I love
Not minding if it be a sacrilege.

Not minding if it be a sacrilege,
We sing Odes to gods and spirits
Converge in lust and secrets
Against our shadowy behalf.
With no stain of guilt,
our conscience we starve.

A toe in the wrong direction makes
Homecoming a weary traverse
Sharpen your wit to chop folly
It's him who makes you unholy
Seizes and turns you a weak pleb
Not minding if it be a sacrilege.

Irreverence trifles the soul albeit
Let the fern come aloft where it ought
Crucify none but in your court
For the goblin loves his face
In the mirror, he'd gaze
Not minding if it be a sacrilege.

I wouldn't be surprised if my eyes were out of tears,
I've seen so much heart ache the last 21 years,
And still here I stand with a smile on my face,
I figure to grow bitter would be such a waste,
Of the beautiful gift my mom and dad gave me,
I hold all the power so I'll use it to save me,
And try as I might sometimes I still get down,
I know the flip side of a smile is a frown,
So I take the bad with the good and remain thankful,
Training this mind to see chaos as tranquil,
With a soul full of hope I have to carry on,
And try to make an inpact before my time is gone,
It hasn't all been good but its all been worth it,
Sometimes wisdom looks like pain on the surface,
Coming to place where you can't handle anymore,
Just shows you your strength and what you can endure,
And so far thats everything because I haven't broken yet,
I wish somethings didn't happen but I have no regrets,
Because the price of pain is knowledge gained,
Like a homeless man begging for change,
Self diagnosed insane because I didn't know my mental,
I think the best thing to do is let this stress make me gentle.

I love you dad.

And maybe that's my curse,
      I still trust people.
Instantly.

  From the moment we first met
      I trusted you.
Instantly.

  I get so impatient sometimes
      Waiting for what I give
Instantly.

  And I forget that for some,
      Trust isn't given
Instantly.

  But once I gain your trust
      The wait will be worth it.
Instantly.