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Em MacKenzie Oct 2019
Why do me the courtesy
of meeting me half way?
Unleashing your opinions of me,
putting fears to rest and keeping pain at bay.
You might aswell just ****** me,
this game I never signed up to play,
yet still I’m screaming it out internally
but it’s not my place to say.
I guess I’ll keep quiet for another day.
S Oct 2019
Two weeks [redacted] you.


I think I said that out of anger-

but I don’t think you could blame me-

or maybe you do-

because I know now how it feels-

to have spent two weeks [redacted] you.


I can’t even say the words because

I don’t want anyone to judge me-

rather that’s the last thing I need-

as while I was [redacted] you I wasn’t

[redacted] myself.

I was mean.

I was harsh.

If that’s what [redacted] you was-

then well, maybe I’m better off.


I did [redacted] you. I think I have for a while-

and people say that to [redacted] someone else you have to [redacted]

yourself but that’s not true because I hated myself when I [redacted]

you.


I thought everything I did was wrong-

I said this-

I did that-

did you think I meant that-

and even if you understood what you think I said-

could you tell that I [redacted] the idea of being with you like that?


Why can’t I [redacted] the idea of [redacted] myself the way that I so

desperately wanted to [redacted] you
Em MacKenzie Oct 2019
Playing a game of cat and mouse
but we both lose track of the bird.
My scorched soil I failed to douse,
I’m filled with such fuel; it’s so absurd.
I linger always alone in an empty house,
speaking two thoughts but I left out the last word.
They were meant with love but I turned to grouse,
either way they never seem to be heard.

I wish I was licking stamps
instead of licking my wounds.
My letter to you gifts my fingers cramps,
I hope one day you decipher it soon.
The one thing that I am best at
is always being a bad example,
I can elaborate on how to keep looking back,
but not on the best way things should be handled.
And I hope one day you’ll see your name
woven in each line and all my stanzas.
But I think when you see it that way, I’ll just explain,
not to go buying me green bananas.

When I was 15 I chose to sign up as an ***** donor,
but all are probably damaged, and the vital ones are no longer mine.
I offered them as tribute to a Queen I adore,
she collected them and added to her shrine.

My tongue is tied tight when I try to express
importance and just what it all means to me,
but if you listen closely to my chest
you’ll hear my heart beating steadily.
And when you’re dressed to the nines
I’ll still be in left in my pajamas.
Waving my arms to direct the signs,
just don’t go buying me green bananas.

I accepted your world became my cage
but I was loyal; I didn’t need a lock.
I reasoned it as the final stage,
I didn’t need a chain just for you to mock.

I’m not angry, I’m not sad,
no resentment from me, don’t go feeling bad.
I’d still take this dagger as long as it’s your hand that grips
I wouldn’t escape or try to stagger,
sadly I’m done with my trips.

I concede and admit that I’ve gone mad,
welcomed with hallelujahs and an amen.
I’m having trouble stripping off my plaid,
but I figure it’s finally time to change stripes again.
S Sep 2019
You are a
(punk
***)
coward
(little
*****).

I’m so
(mad
disappointed
shamed
frustrated)
angry
about
the
risks
I
took
again
and
again
and
how
all
I
received
was
silence.­
I hope you (never) see this.
Valentia Sep 2019
another sleepless night
muddled heart,
muddled mind.

i'm losing myself and
it's all your fault

i don't care about
anything else just
fall
in love with me already

i can't
take
it
anymore
Behind the pain of
insecurity
So Indigenous
This rage inside me
violent I become,

So Magnificent,
In this solitude
Inside the silence,
Beyond the veil a
Frailty does exist

A monopoly
the madness of it,
the excess of the
one divine prophet
His sum that divides

Him all things abide
All things right and wrong
And the Tendrils of
That Mislead my eye
That long to hold fast

Til the final note
This fear seizing me
When Two become Three
The rage will silence
Past, present, future

When Two become Three
When Two become Three
When Two become Three
From Three become Five,
Five beyond the void

The sins will align
Devoid of color
From the nothingness,
Comes sweet surrender,
Oh, the ******* bliss

Serried and forlorn
It Repeats a wail
The solitude now
Rendered silent by
The broken spire of

This immortal tale
This one eternal
Savage root of life
Now the echos clear
fading into lies

The void falls silent
The meek become wise
To challenge the Son
Who so left them here
To remain in fear

Cast aside all hope
Listen to my voice
Embrace this madness
Restore the balance
Give us now the peace

That you promised me
suffered and you died
For all of our sins
On day number three
Arise From your Death

Claim your destiny
And fulfill your oath
come again to bleed
All your wretched sins
Now fulfill your words

So we can all be
In death Committed  
To the loving arms
Of your majesty
The king of deceit
zane Sep 2019
I put all my eggs in one basket
and hurt myself over and over,
I push people away and don't know why
I get frustrated and usually cry.
I tend to hold my breathe
not being able to put my mind to rest,
what's the reasoning behind
my feelings of mistrust and worry?
why do I get so attached
or
not know how to hold on?
for me I know when it's solid
I can feel it eventually being a safe space
or
I can feel it getting old and fading out.
every time someone incredible is uncovered
a way is found for them to leave me.
whether it's my own doing
or
their life leading them else where.
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