I've seen it all before
And I'm sure I'll see it again.
But I don't know if I'll ever meet
Someone as special as you, friend.

Taking and giving
respect,
see once more the flaw in the flow
of knowledge,

weaponize a wall, ha,
who thought
a wall ever held a garden?
Honest,
it was a poor fellow, outside the wall.
Yep, no lie, if once there were
a tree
that bhor good fruit, full of words to wise,
knowers, after one bite,
sublingual receptors ready, salivate,
no waiting lick the dew from the cortex,
slip the tasting probe deep into that
sulci, there
just over the left ear, there,
scratch that itch, gentle
scritchy scritch scritch

are you truly experienced, impressed upon
the truth you seem to think
we all see same as you,
same optics,
same alchemical ATP to ADP energy source,
sunshine
comes softly through my window today,
I looked out after all,
saw you looking
through the old tear in the curtain.

Inside and outside are easily seen as unreal,
in certain pre-envisioned vessels

can't not, gotta say, must make, say do you see?
SEE, see me, see me, come see
the freak, come hear the mad man scream back
from the abyss,

don't come this way, getting out takes
all the time you ever realized
was wasted,
lying piled idle words that were high fashion,
back when
acid
tore the prudent stitchery my princess stitched,
while waiting, in truth, in truth, waiting
for the soldier boy, returning as the man,
who kept the peace,
and painted the picket fence white, to prove
I dreamed the valid dream,
and swore my children's allegiance,

-- PTSD, circa 1950, it was secret,
what broken men did to broken wombed men,
who broke the children,
fit them to the harness, taught them manners,
and how to carry a tune,
in time with the marching band, hurah hurah
- little light right then - see
dark days during semper fi why why why
last call, … no soul sits, all rise
or I black your ****** eyes, rise up, o men o'gawds,
ye gads, meet this in m'gut,

here here, to the dead and gone, who rule
our hearts and minds 'cause we be left behind.

You are the light that shines in the dark
The moon that guides me through the dark
The sun that keeps every negative thing away
You are the kind person I always wanted to have in my life
The person who is pure yet mature
You are the friend who went from best friend to my only family
The moon that keeps me company at night
The sun who is always  there for me

You came into my world when I was hopeless
Showing me great things everytime I feel your caress
Giving me love when I'm longing for your embrace
What a beautiful feeling that I wanna blow you a kiss

But,
I left you without saying anything
Not because I hate you or you are mean
but because I know it isn't for real
You treated me only as a friend
and it hurts me till the end
So, I left so I can breathe from this dilemma
that I am in.
So long my friend, Hope to see you when I'm not in pain

I talk to the moon when
I find myself alone
Start writing with my pen
And throw myself a stone

I talk to the moon when
I start thinking of you
As I count one to ten
What am I supposed to do?

I talk to the moon when
I feel I'm losing my mind
Fight for it when I still can
Cause I don't want a rewind

I talk to the moon when
I felt true happiness
Feels like in a coffin
Releasing loneliness

Now I talk to the moon when
I have a story to tell.

"Tell my mom I love her," She wrote, midnight creeping in,
The chill of the night swarmed me,
a gut-wrenching, stomach clenching knowing,
Flashing lights in the distance,
minds chaotic, frantic, dazed,
banging and banging and banging
The time flew, or jumped, or vanished,
and I saw the cuts, the tears, the pain,
the utter nothingness behind sad orbs,
The blood dripping from her neck and arms,
slowly, drying, as if taunting the scars,
she said nothing, only cried, wept and screamed,
Beside her, I stand as she says
"I don't regret it at all."

Pigtails of plenty,
yellow scrunchies,
and purple plaid.

"You're only you,
I'm pleased as punch,
I'm only glad".

Peter Piper and Betty Botter
picked some peppers
and bought some butter,

Too many rhythms,
too many rhymes,
too much to say,
too little of time.

I hear not to run,
I'm asked what's the rush.
The more that I rush
and the faster I run,
the sooner I'll reach
my great big fun.

Shoe laces bug
big fun
they do.

"They do.

Your speech is peaches
your pace is pie
the space you use
is more than fine".

I try to explain
the colors I play;
going with guidelines
is only a game.
Skipping through gardens
of boxes that make
splendid presents
to open
and fun blocks
to break.

"They're only toys,
you're precisely right".

Meaning is found
in circles on paper,
when pencils make the path.
I see signs in the sky
and in my mind
that for others
seek to hide.
Sometimes it's first fantasy;
another time is reality

If you listen to me,
if you'll hear what I say,
you can learn to see colors,
and can stop seeing grey

"You're sight is unique,
you're special indeed,
but you aren't set apart,
left out,
or alone.

I believe".

The happiness I've found
I can't express.
Clapping
and stomping
and spinning around
aren't enough
to catch
the feelings I've felt.

"Your words aren't just sound,
they're a song to be sung;
felt by each
bringing glasses to sing
one by one,
to echo
to ring".

Every coin has two sides...

Aches that I feel
I can't explain.
Big tears have fallen
that haven't told you pain.
Sharper to chip,
heavier to break,
louder to shake
I wish they were.
They chip, break, and shake
but you can't feel my aches.
I can't explain what's real
when it's only felt inside.

"You don't have to stress about
why you feel what you feel.
There might not be a why
but it's fair and it's real.

I know how hard
it is to live here,
for you to allow,
but it's not forever,
it's only for now".

I promise to slow down
I'll be quieter I swear
I won't reach higher than my height
I won't choose left over right
Believing without sight
is for children not my height
I'll draw squares that are not round
and play games you'll understand
with children on the playground
not alone in this box of sand

"You promise every year to be shy,
to not run,
to not trip,
to not cry big cry's.

This year promise to be you,
to wear plenty of pigtails
with purple plaid
with yellow scrunchies

with some breaths unallowed.
Like the breath that lives
between a sentence
wasting time
if only for an instant.

Jimminy Crickets
and Holy Cow,
I know.

Even though it's hard,
although you're awfully sad,
try to love this special you;
it's the only you to have
and to hold
and to hug
right now.

I'll skip with you
and hold your hand.
I'll hear your words,
the one's unsaid.
I'll sit by you

and be your friend.

The breeze flew effortlessly between us
and I begged for it to be enough or even just
enough to pull me with my everything apart from you.
With my toes in the sand that seems so blue
I refuse to allow my eyes to meet yours
afraid that in your dark galaxy I see her
and afraid that my eyes will scream the lullaby
of just how much your name means to me.

I’m trembling to the thought of you
knowing how much of my heart you’ve wooed
for many years it was in your deathly grasp
and for many years I’ve maintained this mask.
I’ve kept my vulnerability safe for so long
away from your knowledge was where it belongs
simply because I’m afraid of how small I’ll become
of how insignificant I’ll be to a heart that was so numb.

I don’t want to seem irrelevant on your end
for I was a good friend, a great friend
and it aches me to allow you to see
that the good friend, the great friend I seem to be
was only a camouflage I used to keep
my love, my desire, my everything hidden deep
deep away from you for I refuse to be like one of them;
the pets you treat with little to no respect but thinks they’re all gems.

What does it take to be a gem in your life?
Does it take a threat; with a pen, a gun or a knife?
Or does it take laying bare aside you not giving you a hard time?
Paying for all your lies with every feeling, every desire and every dime?
Pretending to be a fool like all your pets, and hope just hope…
That one day you’ll reward me for all the pain that I’ve coped?
A good friend, a great friend isn’t enough for me anymore
play the pet, buy the lies, **** the modesty, become the *****?

-fir.m