it's quite

unfair

isn't it?

you're just used to this kind of thing already.

this isn't your first gig.

you've done this several times already.

you've liked someone before

you've flirted with someone before

you've been on dates before

you've kissed girls before

you've been with someone before

you've broken up with girls before

you've already done this before.

what about me?

this was my first gig and i can't help but


still think about it.


it's already been like

what?

almost

five months now

since we've happened.

how are you dealing with this?

knowing you

you've most likely already forgotten about it.

you're completely over it like you are with the other girls.

i can't say i hate you for it.

if anything, i commend you and i genuinely wish i could do

the same thing.

i'm still kinda stuck in limbo.

thinking about how you first kissed me in the movie theater.

it was dark

only the screen to illuminate us.

then you kissed me once

and asked for another afterwards.

you're a charmer, you know?

of course you do, your ego reminds you everyday.

maybe i should hate you because of that.

because of your overinflated ego.

but i can't.

i really can't.

why can't i?

i say i'm over it, but i'm here writing about it.

if only you broke up with me for something else.

something i could despise you for and instantly forget that


we


ever happened.

but that didn't happen.

you broke up with me for something reasonable.

and until now, you continue to stay with me and support me in my endeavors

and i tend to do the same.

like i owe it to you or something.

i do.

you've helped me through so much.

i just wish i could forget that

we

were ever really a thing.

it's revolting to just

constantly

be bombarded with the past

while you get to act like it never happened.

you're good at this, aren't you?

you've mastered

moving on.

while i'm left to deal with the remnants of something

that has long happened.

it's really just

unfair.

You’re not here to hold us any longer,
But that does not mean you’re not here.
You are, and will always remain,
Deep in our hearts.
And in every breath we take,
we will remember you.
Because you gave us life,
You were our life.
So don't think for one moment,
That we will ever forget
The times and the memories
That you gave to us
To treasure and cherish
Within our souls
For forever and eternity.
You're not here to hold us any longer,
But we will never forget...you.

dwelling on things that i shouldn’t be
looking back at memories of what could have been
those smiles that i’ve seen
and when you used to call me queen
now my feelings are just statics on a screen

watered up eyes of
tears and feelings that only fell- for you
don’t you see how important you were to me?
if only you knew

i miss your summer hues
but now you give me snoozes and mutes

i really shouldn’t be thinking about you again
but i can’t stop myself from doing so
whenever i see you walking pass the corridor
i would shy away and ignore
but i would always see you at the corner of my eye
without saying a hi or bye
we crossed paths
but at least we are under the same sky

this feeling of sadness will always stay in me
the ache in my heart will never fade
and knowing of all that
i still carry hope
maybe, one day?
something will bring us back together again?
but for now, you’re just a lasting portrait in my heart.

i just
i thought i could give up on you
i thought i could forget you
but
i guess
i'll always love you

I sat unbuckled sipping my drink looking at him
Taking in his features as the street lights go dim

His floppy blonde hair and straight white teeth
I liked what I saw, but I want what's underneath

The thoughtful comment about having a good night
A random call because I'm crossing his mind

In reality it will be over soon because school will end
We will move away and on to a new more-than-friend

I'll get a job and he will chase a dream
The only time I'll see him is when I daydream

I'll call once in a while to hear his voice
Making time to hangout won't be my choice

He will be busy with new people and video games
I'll be distracted working learning my clients names

It hasn't yet ended, but I feel the shadow of fate above
I don't want to like him, let alone start to love

Yet, I know the latter will happen only from afar
When I'm old and famous I'll write of him in my memoir

Once my kids are asking me for stories about boys
I'll slip into memories and their voices will become white noise

Thinking back to the night I sat and stared at him
All while knowing I was drowning trying to swim

As I sat unbuckled sipping my drink
I wished I had sipped enough not to think

Just as perfect
As the music is painful
They took their time
Piece by piece
Placing every star
Casting out the constellations bright
And you alike
To the furthest reaches
But never too far
These perfect points set
So you never forget who you are